Marriage and Family
by psych21
Summary: Sequel to 'Love and Marriage', set eighteen years later. Now that Martin and Samantha's kids are all grown up, can they adjust to the changes?
1. Empty House

Marriage and Family

Chapter One

Martin slowly walked around the empty house, pausing when he passed one of the seemingly hundreds of pictures detailing his life with Sam and the development of their family. When he reached the fireplace he stopped, picking up a picture of their wedding day. It was taken over twenty-five years ago but he could still remember every single detail about that day. Their physical appearances had changed slightly over the past twenty-five years, but he concluded that Samantha was just as beautiful now as she had been back then—if not more beautiful.

With a sigh, he put down the photo and headed for the stairs. There were photos of their kids along the entire length of the stairs, arranged by age. Claire, since she was the oldest, had her photos at the bottom of the stairs. Her baby picture was hung right next to a picture of her in her wedding dress.

Martin's smile was a bittersweet one, as he remembered both the happiness he felt for his daughter when she was committing herself to the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with and also the sadness that he felt over giving away his oldest daughter.

He had to admit that he was always amused when he thought about Claire's first meeting with her husband. He wasn't there, but Sam had told him all about it.

_Sam found her daughter engaged in a major fight with a boy over a box of crayons. They were both tugging at the box and it looked like the box was going to tear open at any moment. She was so focused on going over to Claire and helping her daughter that she didn't notice Olivia was following her over to that scene. "Claire, what's going on here?"_

_"He stole my crayons!" Claire exclaimed angrily, giving another tug on the crayon box._

_"Is that true Nikolas?" Olivia asked the boy in a stern voice._

_"No mom!" Nikolas replied. "I swear I didn't!"_

_"Yes you did!" Claire yelled, pulling at the crayon box._

_"No I didn't!" Nikolas yelled back, giving another strong tug._

_Sam looked over at Olivia, who was looking at her. "Looks like our children have already met."_

_Olivia laughed. "Yeah, looks like it."_

_Sam reached over and pulled the crayon box away from Claire and Nikolas, setting it down on a nearby table and eliciting a cry of protest from both children._

_"Alright Nikolas, why did you steal Claire's crayons?" Olivia asked her son as she knelt down to his level._

_"I didn't mom!" Nikolas defended himself._

_"Nikolas, c'mon. Don't lie to me. I know you better than that. Just admit it." Olivia commanded in a softer tone._

_He knew that he was caught and decided to give up. "Ok. I did it."_

_"I knew it!" Claire yelled._

_"Claire, that's not very nice." Sam softly scolded her._

_Nikolas continued on. "I stole her stupid crayons, but only because I needed a new green one for my drawing. I couldn't draw purple grass. It would look bad."_

_"Why didn't you just ask her to let you borrow a green crayon?" Olivia asked._

_"I dunno." Nikolas shrugged._

_"I think you should apologize to her." Olivia pushed him over towards Claire._

_"I'm sorry." Nikolas reluctantly apologized._

_After being gently nudged by her mother, Claire replied, "I forgive you."_

_"There we go." Sam smiled. "Problem solved. Now why don't you two just share the crayons and play nicely together?"_

_"I think that's a great idea." Olivia nodded._

_"Ok." The kids replied in unison._

_Before she let Claire go back to drawing, she pulled her daughter aside. "How are you doing sweetie?"_

_"Fine." Claire put on a small smile._

_"You sure?" Sam asked._

_"Yeah." Claire nodded. "I don't think I like Nikolas though."_

_Sam looked over at the boy and then back at Claire. "Why don't you give him a second chance before making any final decisions?"_

_"Ok." Claire relented._

He never would have guessed that his daughter would end up marrying Nikolas Patterson and that his little girl would be pregnant with twins right now. It didn't seem like she could be old enough to be having children yet, even though he had to constantly remind himself that she was twenty-six.

As much as he hated to admit it, and never would tell anyone other than maybe Sam, Claire was probably his favorite child. But that was only because they had bonded together in a way that wasn't possible with Sean and Rachel.

Claire was there when he and Sam were going through the roughest patch of their marriage. She was there to send him drawings when he was separated from his family. She was and always would be his little princess.

That didn't mean that he didn't love Sean and Rachel too though, because he did. He loved his children with all of his heart. But Claire was definitely the one that he had the closest bond with. She was the easiest out of the three to talk to. Whenever she would come to visit, they would sit out on the porch and talk for hours. Her curiosity and zest for life, coupled with her big heart, were what made her so special.

Climbing a few more steps, Martin found an old baby picture of Sean next to his high school graduation picture. His son was going to Duke University to get a degree in mechanical engineering and materials science.

Sean was smart when it came to all things science related and Martin had to admit that sometimes he had no idea what his son was talking about when he described the types of classes he was taking. But he was a responsible kid, always looking towards the future and planning for it.

Sometimes though, his planning of the future cost him the enjoyment of the present. He had yet to find someone that he was serious about, although he still had plenty of time to find his soul mate. But Martin couldn't help but be slightly anxious for his son to find the right girl and settle down.

He had a good relationship with his son, definitely better than the relationship Martin had with his own father. He had tried extremely hard never to push his son into doing things just to please him, and hoped that Sean would never resent him the way he resented his own father.

He was almost to the top of the stairs when he saw a baby picture of Rachel's sitting next to her high school graduation picture. It was a picture taken about six months ago. She was a very determined young woman, graduating from high school early so that she could advance to college and move towards her long-term goals.

Her long-term goal is to follow in her mother and father's footsteps and become a FBI agent; only she wants to become a profiler. She's currently attending the University of Chicago to get a degree in Psychology. He was sure that she would make a wonderful agent in whatever division she wanted to go into.

Rachel was more like Sam than Claire or Sean were when it came to personality. She was definitely as stubborn as her mother. But she was a good kid who never gave her parents any trouble. She never stayed out past curfew, never came home drunk or stoned, and always tried her hardest in school. The only real problem they ever had with her was the fact that, like her mother, she wasn't a morning person. He learned early on to stay away from Rachel until she was fully awake unless he wanted her to snap at him.

Rounding the corner at the top of the stairs, Martin headed towards the bedroom that he usually shared with his wife. Standing in the doorway he noticed that it looked the same. The bed was neatly made and the lights were on.

The only difference was that Sam wasn't lying on the bed reading a book or already asleep. She wasn't going to ask him how his day was or what he planned to do tomorrow. They wouldn't spend ten minutes talking about the kids and how great they had turned out before going to sleep. They couldn't, because she wasn't here anymore.

She had left a few months ago for Michigan to help Claire. Nikolas was a top executive for Ford automotives and had to go to Tokyo for a few months in order to oversee the building of a new manufacturing plant.

The only problem with that was the fact that Claire was pregnant with twins. He didn't want to leave his wife all alone since this was their first pregnancy, so Sam had volunteered to go spend some time with Claire and help her.

Sam helped by doing laundry, dishes, cooking and just by giving Claire the emotional support that only a mom could give. Her own personal demons with being pregnant made her the best choice to go and help Claire deal with the nerves and anxiety about being pregnant with twins while having a husband that was thousands of miles away.

He was glad that Sam was able to help Claire, and he knew that she loved feeling like her children needed her again. But he couldn't help feeling deserted.

Maybe it was because of the fight they had the day before Sam announced she was leaving to go help Claire. Maybe it was the fact that Nikolas was coming home from Tokyo tomorrow but Sam had yet to make any plans to come home. Maybe it was because she rarely called him. Maybe it was the fact that he felt she was slowly slipping away from him again and didn't know how to fix it.

He was the one that always had to call Claire's house in order to try and talk to her, and even then he only got to talk to her every fourth or fifth time he called. When they did talk, it was always about the kids and never about what was going on with their marriage.

He would have thought that after their break all those years ago they would have learned to communicate better. They had gone through therapy together and had learned good communication skills. He thought that they were communicating nicely, sharing their feelings and thoughts. So now, eighteen years later, why were they slipping back into the same patterns as before?

He sat on the edge of the bed, releasing a huge sigh. How did he get to this point? How did he end up alone in a big house, separated from everyone he loved? How did this happen to him again?

There was another time, over twenty years ago, when he was left living in an empty house all by himself but that felt like ages ago. That time he at least knew that he would eventually be back with his family and back with Sam. This time, he wasn't sure if he'd ever be reunited with Sam. He couldn't help but wonder if she was ever coming back.


	2. Forgotten Anniversary

Marriage and Family

Chapter Two

"Mom, don't you think that it's time you went back to dad?" Claire asked as they sat down to eat the dinner that her mother had cooked for them.

"Why?" Sam laughed. "Getting tired of me?"

"No, you know that's not it. I've loved having you here with me and you've been such a great help." Claire assured her mother. She was extremely grateful to her mother for coming to Michigan all the way from Houston to help her.

Her mother had literally dropped everything that she was doing to come help her while Nikolas was in Tokyo. But now Nikolas was coming home tomorrow night, and her mother had yet to say whether or not she was going back to Houston.

She was aware that her mother and father were having problems. It was apparent when she saw them together at Rachel's high school graduation. There was a tension surrounding her parents that she hadn't felt since she was five.

Although she was young, she still remembered from the last time her parents were having marital problems. And she could tell by their body language and the way they spoke to each other that they were again having problems. It broke her heart to see them so unhappy with each other again.

When she was five, she stayed out of it because she wasn't completely sure what was going on. All she really knew was that her mother and father weren't entirely happy with each other.

But now, almost twenty-five years later, she couldn't stay out of it. She knew that her parents loved each other deeply and she wasn't going to stand around and passively let them throw decades of their lives away by divorcing.

While her mother had been staying with her, Claire constantly asked her about her relationship with her dad and always trying to figure out what was really going on. She knew that taking care of her grandfather was a major strain on their relationship and that her father took his death really hard. But there had to be something else causing problems for them too.

"I just…" Claire thought about the best way to say it before continuing. "I just thought that maybe you missed dad. I mean I haven't seen you talk to him much in the past three months. Don't you miss him?"

Don't you miss him? That's such a loaded question. Of course Sam missed Martin. She missed him every moment of every day. But she wasn't ready to talk to him, not about anything important. And she definitely wasn't ready to go home yet. There was too much tension there.

She knew that her daughter was fishing around for information and only wanted to help. It was those two reasons that kept Sam from getting angry. She couldn't get angry with her daughter for simply caring enough to want to help.

But she still wasn't sure how to answer that question. While she missed Martin, she was also angry with him and hurt because of everything that had happened to them lately.

But how was she going to explain that to Claire? How was she supposed to put her daughter in the middle of this? She couldn't do that to Claire. Claire had enough to worry about without adding her parents' marriage to that list. After all, her little girl was going to have children of her own in less than two months.

God that made her feel old. Samantha Spade was going to be a grandmother. It was an exciting feeling, but she also felt sad that her little girl was all grown up now. Pretty soon, she wasn't going to need her mother around as much, and her role in Claire's world would be as the doting grandmother.

"Claire, please don't worry about your father and I." Sam pleaded.

"I can't help it." Claire shook her head. "You guys are too stubborn for your own good sometimes."

"We are not." Sam half-heartedly denied.

"Yes you are." Claire took a drink of water before asking the two questions that she had been working up the courage to ask during her mother's entire stay there with her. "Are you and daddy on another break like you did when I was five? Are you two thinking about getting divorced again?"

Sam was slightly shocked that Claire knew about the break. Of course Claire knew about it though, she was there. But what really shocked her was the fact that Claire seemed to know that, at the time of that break, they were thinking about divorcing.

She had always fooled herself into believing that Claire had no real clue about what was really going on. It was a shock to find out all these years later that she was wrong in assuming that they had done a good job of hiding the truth from their daughter.

She still wasn't sure how to answer that question though. Honestly, she didn't know what they were going to do. Divorce seemed like a coward's way out.

After all, they had made it this far, reaching twenty-seven years of marriage and already starting on their twenty-eighth year. Would they make it to their twenty-eighth anniversary? And would Martin actually remember their anniversary next year?

"Claire, I really don't know what to tell you. I didn't realize you knew…"

"Mom, I may have been young but I wasn't blind or deaf. I could tell that you two weren't happy. When I got older, it wasn't hard to put the pieces together." Claire explained.

"I should have known you'd be able to do that. You always were extremely perceptive." Sam smiled.

"So are you two having problems?" Claire asked again, hoping for an honest answer from her mother. "Because I know that when I talk to dad he sounds miserable."

"He sounds miserable?" Sam asked, surprised by this. She thought that he might be happy without her around. He always sounded like he was doing ok the few times she talked to him.

"Yes." Claire nodded. "He really misses you."

"Good." Sam replied with a snort. "Maybe this time will be good for him."

"Why do you say that?" Claire asked. "Why would it be good for him to miss you? I don't understand."

Sam sighed, trying to weigh in her mind whether or not to tell Claire everything. On one hand, she didn't want to worry her daughter. But, she did want to talk about this with someone. "It would make him stop taking me for granted."

"Has he been taking you for granted?" Claire asked, curious about her parent's problems.

"Yes." Sam nodded.

"How?"

"Well, to start with, he forgot our anniversary." Sam recalled their anniversary, five months ago.

"_Hey, I'm home." Martin called as he entered the house and sat his keys on the table by the door. "Sam? You here?" _

"_In the kitchen." Sam called out, trying to not sound mad. She had cooked his favorite dinner, lit some candles and had soft music playing in the background, thinking they could celebrate their anniversary with a nice, quiet dinner. But after an hour of waiting for him to come home, she had turned off the music, blown out the candles and started eating._

_He moved into the kitchen and saw her putting food into plastic containers. "Hey." _

"_Hey." She replied, not looking at him and instead focusing on putting the remnants of dinner into tuber ware so that they could eat tonight's dinner tomorrow night. "Have you eaten? Because I made your favorite if you're hungry." _

"_That's ok. I'm not hungry. I went out with Richard and Robert. We had dinner and a few beers." Martin explained, leaning against the kitchen counter._

"_Do you have anything else to say to me?" She tried to use a voice that wasn't defensive. _

_He thought about it for a moment before realizing what she wanted to hear. "I'm sorry I didn't call you and tell you I wasn't going to be here for dinner."_

_She took the containers and placed them into the refrigerator before she looked over at him. She searched his face intently, hoping to see any sign that he hadn't forgotten what day it was. She didn't want to think that he would forget their anniversary. _

_It wasn't a special one like twenty-five or thirty. It was just their twenty-seventh anniversary, but in a way that was still special. It meant that their love had survived for twenty-seven years. But in his face she saw nothing to give her any hope that he knew what day it was. _

"_It's ok." She shrugged, taking the dishes and putting them in the dishwasher. "I'm really tired. I think I'm going to go to bed."_

"_You sure?" He asked, watching her leave the kitchen. She seemed like she was mad about something and wondered if she was really mad at him for missing dinner. After all, she had made his favorite dinner. He couldn't help but feel bad about missing that. At least she was saving the leftovers though. It would be an easy meal for tomorrow night._

"_Yeah." She said, heading upstairs to their room. When she got up there, she took out a small gift wrapped in bright paper from her pocket. She had gotten him a new watch to replace the one he was wearing because it was always slowing down and stopping. After changing into her pajamas, she placed it in the bedside table. She would wait and give it to Martin when he remembered their anniversary, no matter how long it took him. _

"_Happy anniversary Martin." She whispered as she climbed into the empty bed. Turning on her side so that she wasn't facing the door, she started to cry._

"He actually forgot it?" Claire asked, feeling really bad for her mother. Her wedding anniversary with Nikolas was two weeks ago, and even though Nikolas wasn't even on the same continent as she was, he had still called and sent her flowers. He even promised to take her out to a special dinner when he got back.

She could only imagine how horrible that must have made her mother feel. Her parents had been married for many years. She would have thought that her father would have remembered.

"Yeah." Sam nodded. "He truly forgot it and didn't remember until two days later." She then thought about what happened when he finally remembered.

"_Morning Sam." Martin smiled at her when he entered the kitchen. _

"_Morning." She replied without looking up at him. She instead focused on the newspaper in front of her. It had been two days since their anniversary and he still hadn't made any attempt to show her that he remembered that he had forgotten. _

"_I…uh, I want to take you out to dinner tonight." He told her nervously as he sat down at the table with her. _

"_Really?" She asked, not looking up from the paper. "Why?" _

_He sighed and looked down at his hands, which were lying in his lap. "I think we both know why. I forgot our anniversary." _

_She had been wondering how long it would take him to realize that. When she woke up this morning she had all but given up hope that he would remember. Closing her eyes, she replied, "yeah you did."_

"_I want to make it up to you though." He gave her a grin that in the past would have made her heart melt. But she didn't look at him for fear that the grin would have the same impact on her now._

"_And you think that taking me out to dinner will make up for missing it?" _

"_I don't think it will make up for it, but I think it's a start though, right?" He sighed heavily. When he woke up this morning he realized what day it was and then was horrified to realize that he had forgotten their anniversary. Suddenly Sam's cold attitude towards him for the past two days made sense and he immediately started to think of ways to make it up to her. _

"_Whatever." She shrugged, not wanting to deal with this right now. It hurt to find out that your husband apparently didn't think your wedding day was special enough to remember._

"_Don't be this way please." He pleaded, knowing that she was going to remain mad at him._

"_Don't be what way?" She asked. "Don't be mad? Don't be hurt? Don't be frustrated?" _

"_Why didn't you just say something to me about it? Why didn't you remind me when I came in that night?" He asked._

_She finally looked up from the paper and looked him in the eyes. "I wanted to see how long it would take you to figure it out for yourself. I didn't say anything to you that night because I still had hope that you would remember." _

_She folded up the paper and placed it on the table. "It's not like if you forgot my birthday. That would be totally different and I could forgive that because you weren't there when I was born. But you were there when we got married. I thought it was something special that should forever be remembered. I guess you didn't." _

"_That's not fair." He protested. "I think that day was extremely special but I also think you're blowing this way out of proportion."_

"_Maybe I am." She relented, throwing her hands up in the air. "But the fact still remains that you forgot."_

"_I'm sorry Sam. I completely forgot and I'll admit it. It slipped my mind. With everything that's happened lately I…" _

"_That's no excuse." She told him as she picked up her coffee cup and dumped out the contents in the sink. "Martin, I know that you're having a hard time dealing with your father's death. I know that and I am trying to be supportive of that. But don't use him as an excuse for forgetting our anniversary. Didn't our lives revolve around him enough when he was alive? Does he really have to dictate our lives now that he's dead?" _

"_Well I'm sorry if my grieving has been hard for you!" Martin exclaimed, getting angry. "But I can't be like you. I can't only grieve him for five minutes before going back to a normal life." _

"_That's not fair!" Sam yelled. "I grieved for more than five minutes."_

"_Oh. Sorry." Martin corrected himself. "It was more like ten minutes." _

"_I'm so tired of having this discussion with you." Sam sighed. "Just forget about dinner. I don't want to be around you right now." _

"_That's fine!" He exclaimed as she walked out of the kitchen. "Maybe I don't want to be around you right now either."_

"That's terrible!" Claire exclaimed. "I can't believe daddy did that! First he forgets your anniversary and then he yells at you and accuses you of not caring that Grandpa Victor is dead? How can he do that after everything you did for Grandpa Victor?"

"I couldn't believe it either." Sam replied. "After everything that's happened, he still…I don't know. Your father and I…we seem to go through cycles where we just can't make it work."

"So is that one of the main reasons why you and daddy aren't on good speaking terms right now? Because he forgot your anniversary?"

"No." Sam shook her head. "Believe it or not, the whole anniversary debacle is just icing on top of the cake. We have bigger problems that that."

"Are you thinking about divorcing dad?" Claire asked in a small voice, almost afraid of the answer.

"No." Sam shook her head. "Well…I guess I shouldn't lie to you. I have thought about it, but I don't think I'd be able to actually go through with it. I think we just need some time alone."

"I hope so." Claire replied, focusing her attention on her plate of food.


	3. Sam's Journal

Marriage and Family

Chapter Three

Martin woke up early the next day and, unable to go back to sleep, he got up and looked around the bedroom. Sam hadn't been in here for almost three months, and it was starting to show.

There was dust gathering around the whole house because he hadn't been doing a very good job of keeping the place clean in her absence. In anticipation of her hopefully coming home within the next few days, he decided to spend the day cleaning.

So that's what he was doing right now. He was cleaning up and straightening the bedroom. There were new magazines that had come while Sam was gone and he didn't dare throw them away because she might get mad if they weren't still here for her to read when she came home.

He picked them up and walked over to her side of the bed so that he could put them in the nightstand. When he opened up the drawer, he found that there wasn't much in there, except five books that looked like journals.

Out of curiosity, he picked them up and sat down on the bed to open the first one. To his surprise, he found that Sam had been keeping a detailed journal of her innermost thoughts and feelings for the past five years.

He wondered why she started to keep a journal five years ago, and then remembered that the date of her first entry was two days after his father came to live with them.

Although he knew that this would be a huge invasion of her privacy, he couldn't help but wonder what she wrote in her journals. He could ask her, but he was certain that she would shut him out and tell him nothing. So he flipped to the first entry and started reading.

_Saturday, March 21, 2026_

_Well, today is the day that Victor moved in with us. I'm still torn about whether or not this is such a good idea, but I don't think I have any real choice in the decision. He's been alone ever since Katherine died and every time we've visited him he's gotten worse and worse. _

_His memory's fading and he's beginning to need more assistance to do normal, everyday activities. He can't drive because of his failing eyesight and has a bad heart problem._

_So I can completely understand Martin's desire to make sure his father is being taken care of in his old age, but couldn't someone else do it? Couldn't we send Victor to one of the many nice nursing homes around our house? There has to be at least three close ones that would be perfect. Victor could get the care he needs while still being close enough that Martin could visit all the time. _

_That sounds horrible. Rereading that paragraph makes me cringe. I sound like a terrible human being for wanting to just shove Victor into a nursing home. Maybe it's a good thing I didn't try to approach Martin about that idea. He'd probably get really upset with me if he knew that I was thinking about that. _

_He'd probably say that I just wanted to do that so that our lives wouldn't be interrupted. Then he'd probably say that it was also because I've never really liked his father. But in all fairness, Victor has never liked me either. _

_My relationship with my father-in-law has always been one of mutual tolerance. He tolerates the fact that his son married me and I tolerate the fact that he is Martin's father. _

_Maybe the fact that I don't want our lives to change is a part of why I thought about putting him into a nursing home though. I mean, after all, if Victor wasn't moving in with us, Martin and I wouldn't be giving up our master bedroom to move upstairs into Claire's old room. _

_God that also sounds selfish. Well it's not even like I really care about moving out of our bedroom so that Victor can have a big room with his own bathroom on the first floor. It's more than practical to give him the bedroom on the first floor so that he doesn't have to constantly climb stairs. It's just that this is such a big change. _

_And I wasn't consulted about it. I don't know if Martin was even aware that he did it, but he decided to move his father here without even talking to me about it first. One minute we were talking about the problems his father was having and the next minute Martin's making the arrangements to go to New York and bring his father here to live with us. _

_We didn't discuss it. We didn't weigh the pros and cons of bringing Victor into our home, nor did we discuss the possible repercussions it would have on Sean and Rachel. Claire's already in college and out of the house so this won't affect her as much. But Sean is just starting high school and Rachel's in middle school. _

_I honestly don't think that Martin thought about that when he decided to bring Victor here. I think he has tunnel vision when it comes to his father. He's so concerned with trying to score points with his father and finally try to establish a good father-son relationship before it's too late that he's being oblivious to what's going on around him. _

_I'm really trying to be supportive of moving his father in with us but it's hard when I don't really think it's a good idea. And of course Martin is completely oblivious to the fact that I don't think it's a good idea. _

_Although maybe some of the blame is on my shoulders because I haven't exactly come right out and said, 'Martin I don't agree with this'. But still, I'm not sure how this is going to turn out. _

Martin stopped after reading the first entry. Thinking back, he realized that she was right. He hadn't ever actually asked Sam if it was ok to bring his father here and he didn't consider what kind of a drain having his father live with them would be for all of them.

He had just assumed that it would be ok with her, even though he knew that his father didn't really like her and she didn't really like him. He had just assumed that she wouldn't have any real objections to it. He was apparently wrong though.

Just after reading the first entry of her journal, he realized that there were many things that he was oblivious to. Curiosity made him want to keep reading, even though he knew that Sam wouldn't like it if she found out. But she wasn't here to stop him, and he rationalized his actions by thinking that maybe by reading her journal he could figure out how to get their marriage back on track again.

* * *

Sam walked into the living room where Claire was watching a cooking show and sat her suitcase down by the couch before sitting next to her daughter. 

"Going somewhere?" Claire asked, hoping that her mother was going to go home and talk things out with her father.

"Yes." Sam nodded. "I got thinking about it, and I've decided that when we go to pick up Nikolas from the airport, you should leave me there. I have a flight to catch tonight."

"Where are you going?" Claire questioned. "Home?"

"No, not yet." Sam shook her head. "I haven't been to visit everyone in New York for a long time so I think I'm going to go to New York, see your Uncle Danny and Aunt Michelle."

Claire smiled at the fact that her mother still called Danny their uncle and Michelle their aunt even though they weren't related. It was nice that she had friends she was that close to that she would want to call them her family. But she was also disappointed that she wasn't going home. Being in two separate states wasn't going to help her parents.

"There are a couple of other people I want to see and catch up with, so I thought I'd spend a few days there." Sam continued. "Danny and Michelle are going to let me stay in their guest room."

"Then are you going home?" Claire questioned.

"Yes." Sam nodded.

"Have you told dad about your plans?" She couldn't help but wonder if her mother had let her father know about what she was doing and where she was going.

"Not really." Sam answered, noticing her daughter's frustrations. "What?"

"I just think you should talk to dad and at least tell him what's going on." Claire replied.

Sam had to admit that it would be nice to let Martin know what she was planning on doing. Besides, she would need a ride home once she flew back to Houston. She made a mental note to call Martin before they left for the airport. "I'll call him before we leave, ok?"

"Good." Claire smiled.

Sam patted Claire's knee. "Don't worry about your father and me. Ok?"

"I can't help it." Claire pouted. "You guys mean a lot to me."

"And you mean a lot to us." Sam put her arm around Claire and let her daughter rest her head on her shoulder. "But I don't want you to worry. Your father and I have been through worse and gotten through it. So why should this be any different?"

"I just don't want you two to throw away what you have." Claire admitted.

"Sweetie, I may not like your father much right now and I may think he's being incredibly…what's the word I'm looking for…" She thought about it for a moment before continuing. "Aha! It's obstinate. That's the word I'm looking for. He's being very obstinate. But that doesn't mean that I don't still love him because I do."

She sighed. "You'll find out for yourself after you and Nikolas have been married for awhile. You won't always like him. There will probably be times when you just don't want to be in the same room with him. But in the end it doesn't matter if you like him as long as you love him and realize that neither of you are perfect."

"So you aren't going to leave dad?" Claire asked, really hoping that the answer was no. Although she was a grown-up, the last thing she wanted to see was her parents break up. They were her role models for the way a marriage should, and in a few cases shouldn't, be.

"No." Sam shook her head. "I just need some time away from him. After I go see a couple of people in New York I'm going back home. So don't worry. Please?"

Claire gave her mother a small smile. "Ok. I guess I won't worry right now, but I'm reserving the right to worry in the future."

"Fair enough." Sam laughed.


	4. Not Coming Home Yet

Marriage and Family

Chapter Four

_Wednesday, August 5, 2026_

_I'm starting to think that Victor is purposely trying to drive me crazy. Ok, maybe not, but it sure feels that way. I realize that he's old and is having memory problems but does he really need to treat me the way he does? Take this afternoon for example:_

_I was in the kitchen making lunch for Sean, Rachel, and him. We had some ham left over from dinner so I was making ham sandwiches. I fixed him a ham sandwich for lunch and made sure that I got it exactly how he wanted it—on white bread with three slices of ham, one slice of American cheese and two squirts of honey mustard. That's how he's asked for his sandwich to be made for the past six months. _

_But he took one bite of it and said, "Why the hell did you put mustard on this sandwich? You know I hate mustard and can't stand it on a ham sandwich! Are you stupid or something?" _

"_Victor, you've always eaten your sandwiches with mustard." I calmly told him. _

"_No I haven't!" He slammed his fist down on the table. "Now make me another one without mustard!" _

_I took a deep breath so that I didn't start yelling at him to eat the stupid sandwich and flashed both him and the kids a fake smile before picking up his plate and going back into the kitchen. About ten seconds after I came back into the kitchen, Rachel appeared. "Need something?" _

"_Just looking to see if we have any applesauce left." Rachel smiled as she opened up the refrigerator door. _

"_I don't think we do. I think your grandfather had the last of it yesterday." I felt bad that she wanted applesauce that we didn't have and made a mental note to add it to the grocery list later. "Sorry." _

"_No biggie." She shrugged her shoulders. "I'll just have some pudding instead." She picked up a pudding cup and came over to where I was making the sandwich. "You know if you want me to, I can kick Grandpa Victor under the table a few times and call it an accident."_

_I laughed, and looking over at her I saw that she was serious. "No thanks sweetie. That's ok." _

"_Ok." She shrugged again._

"_Kicking your grandfather under the table would not be a very nice thing to do." I reminded her. _

"_I know," she rolled her eyes, "but the offer's good for anytime. Just say the word and I'll start kicking."_

"_I'll keep that in mind." I winked at her before she left the kitchen. _

_I can always count on Rachel to inject some humor into any situation. She always seems to know exactly the right moment to tell me a joke or say something to make me smile and I appreciate that more than she'll probably ever know. _

_I'm really trying not to lose my temper with Victor, but it's hard sometimes. I mean, sometimes he's really nice to me and appreciative of the things I do for him. Then other times he's yelling at me and calling me names. _

_And of course Martin is never home to see that side of Victor. The only side Martin ever sees is the nice Victor. He probably wouldn't believe me if I told him some of the things that have happened when he's at work. _

* * *

Staring at the phone, Sam knew what she had to do. She had to call Martin and tell him about her plans to go to New York for a few days. But even though she longed to hear his voice, there was something that made her hesitant to call him. 

It was the same something that had kept her from calling him all those other times too. It was fear mixed in with weariness.

Her fear was that they would have nothing to talk about, and it was a very rational fear because it had happened to them quite frequently over the past eight months. Now that the kids were out of the house and Martin's father passed away, there wasn't much for them to talk about anymore.

So that left them with a bunch of silence and nothing to talk about to fill the spaces. They tried to find things to talk about, but those conversations were usually uncomfortable, felt forced, and led to arguments.

Her weariness was based on the fact that she didn't want to fight with him anymore. It seemed like that's all they ever did anymore and she was tired of it. She was tired of all of it.

They had become the stereotypical married couple, only talking about the children and pretty much living separate lives.

Finally deciding that she was wasting time and should just get it over with, she picked up the phone and took a deep breath before dialing the familiar phone number.

"Hello?" Martin answered, reaching over across the bed to pick up the phone.

"Hey, it's me." Sam greeted.

"Sam." He sat up in bed. "Hey. It's good to hear your voice. How are you?"

"Fine." Sam replied. "And you?"

"Ok." He picked up the Kleenex he was using as a makeshift bookmark and stuck it in Sam's journal before closing it and placing it on the bed. "How's Claire doing?"

"She's great." Sam informed him. "She's getting really excited because we're going to go pick Nikolas up this afternoon."

"I bet she can't wait for him to come home. She's probably missed him a lot over the past three months."

"Yeah, she has." Sam told him. "Look, I just wanted to call and tell you that I won't be home for another couple of days."

He frowned. A few more days? But if Nikolas was coming home tonight then why was Sam still staying? "Oh really? Why not?" He tried really hard not to let his disappointment show in his voice.

"I'm going to go visit Danny and the rest of the gang in New York for a few days." Sam explained.

"Oh." Now he was even more disappointed. Not only was she going to be gone for a few more days, but she was also going to get to visit their friends without him.

"I should be back on Sunday afternoon. Do you think it would be possible for you to pick me up at the airport?"

"Sure." He replied. "Just call me and let me know what flight you're on and I'll be there."

"Thanks." She was glad that they didn't have a fight about that. She had expected him to be mad that she wasn't coming home right away and figured that they would get into an argument about it. But she was pleasantly surprised when they didn't.

"No problem." He noticed that there was now an awkward pause. It was almost like they had run out of things to talk about. "So…"

"I should probably go." Sam told him, not sure what else to talk about.

"Do you have to? Because we haven't talked much lately and I was just wondering what's going on." Martin asked, surprising himself. Usually he wasn't this bold, but after reading her journals he was slowly realizing that she had been feeling slighted lately.

"Well I think Claire told you everything that's been going on when she talked to you yesterday. Nothing else much has happened." Sam explained.

"No." Martin corrected her. "I meant with you. What's going on with you?"

"Me?" She was surprised by his question. In the three months that she had been in Michigan he had never once asked what was going on with her. His questions were always directed towards the kids. So what changed?

"Yeah you." He chuckled.

"Nothing interesting is happening with me." Sam shrugged.

"I see."

Another long pause followed his response. "Are you ok?" Sam asked.

"Me? I'm fine." Martin tried to sound reassuring, but the fact was that he wasn't really fine. Each of Sam's journals chronicled one calendar year, and Martin had already read up to about six months of the first year. He knew that he should stop and that it wasn't right to read her personal journals but he couldn't help himself.

He was learning so much about her from reading them and he was also starting to feel extremely guilty. There were so many things that Sam kept bottled up inside and never told him. There were so many things that he had never even considered.

He had no idea it was so hard for Sam to have his father living with them. Of course he didn't notice because he was too busy trying to be the perfect son for his father in a last-ditch attempt to have a good relationship with his father before his death. Well that mission was a success but he might have ruined his marriage in the process.

She wasn't sure she believed him when he said he was fine. After knowing him for so long, she knew when he was lying, and she was fairly confident that he was lying right now. But if he didn't want to tell her what was wrong, then she wasn't going to pry. Not right now. "Ok, well actually I do really have to go so that we can leave for the airport."

"Ok." He didn't want to get off the phone with her, but apparently had no choice.

"I'll call you in a couple of days when I know what flight I'll be on."

"Great." Martin tried to act enthusiastic. "I…" He was going to continue on with saying 'I love you', but stopped when he heard the phone click. She had already hung up.


	5. Airport Memories

Marriage and Family

Chapter Five

"Where is he?" Claire asked, nervously shuffling her feet as she stood next to her mother at the baggage claim area. They were waiting for Nikolas to come to the baggage claim area. His flight was late and it was taking longer for them to get clearance to land. "I'm not sure how much longer I can wait."

"I know." Sam laughed at her daughter's excitement. To get Claire's mind off of her excitement, she decided to change the subject. "This brings back memories."

"What does?" Claire asked, looking at her mother strangely.

"Being at a baggage claim area waiting for a man to get off a plane." Sam smiled.

Claire smiled widely as she remembered what her mother was talking about.

"_Mommy? Why are we at the airport tonight?" Claire asked as they walked into the airport. _

"_Because we're here to pick up your daddy." Sam replied, grabbing a hold of Claire's hand as they made their way through the crowds of people. She was looking for the monitor that would tell her when Martin's plane was getting in and smiled when she spotted it about ten feet away from where they were right now. _

"_But I thought he wasn't coming until tomorrow." Claire was confused. Maybe her mommy got confused too. _

"_Well he's supposed to be coming tomorrow." Sam explained, kneeling down to Claire's level. "But your daddy has this habit of coming early to surprise us." _

"_So he's coming tonight?" Claire asked, not wanting to get her hopes up until her mommy told her that. _

"_Yes he is." Sam told her daughter. "You see, he thinks he's going to surprise us by arriving one day earlier. But I'm not falling for that again. So I called the airline and found out that he's coming in tonight on Flight 5497." _

"_And we're surprising him?" Claire smiled, finally understanding what was going on. _

"_Exactly." Sam smiled. "He's not going to expect us here." _

_Claire giggled. "I like this plan."_

"That was a lot of fun surprising dad like that." Claire laughed. "The look on his face was priceless."

"Yeah." Sam laughed. "It was, wasn't it?"

Claire put her arm around her mother. "You know I have really enjoyed your visit and having you around."

"I did too." Sam smiled and ran her hand through her daughter's long, blonde hair.

"Thanks for your help. I'm not sure what I would have done without you."

"Well that's what mom's are for." Sam told her. "We're here to help."

"Now it's time for me to help you." The smile on Claire's face left. "I'm not going to pretend to know what problems you and dad are having. I don't know and I probably shouldn't know. But I can't sit back and watch you two self-destruct without trying to offer some piece of advice, even if you don't take it."

She saw that her mother wasn't going to interrupt her and continued. "Dad loves you and you love dad. I know you said that these new problems aren't as bad as the old ones, but I'm not sure I entirely believe you."

"You calling me a liar?" Sam laughed.

"No. I think you're trying to shield me from the truth." Claire replied. "And I appreciate it but it's not necessary. I'm a grown up and I can deal with the truth. I'm no longer the five year-old that you need to hide the truth from."

"I know." Sam replied, lamenting the fact that her little girl was no longer little or a girl.

"I know that you guys started having problems when Grandpa Victor moved in." She could see that her mother was wondering how she knew about that. "Rachel and Sean noticed it and would tell me about the way grandpa treated you. Not to mention the first hand experiences I got when I came home to visit."

"I'd hate for you and dad to continue having problems because of an old, cantankerous fuddy-duddy that isn't even alive anymore. Grandpa Victor is gone. Maybe it's time that all issues surrounding him die too."

Sam tried to contain her laughter but soon found it impossible.

"What?" Claire asked, looking at her mother like she was crazy. She was offering her serious advice and now her mother was laughing at her? Why?

"I'm sorry." Sam laughed. "I like your advice and it's good advice. It's just that you called your grandfather a fuddy-duddy!"

"Well he was!" Claire laughed.

"I am not disputing that." Sam smiled. "I just don't hear that word often."

"I'm trying to re-introduce it into the English language." Claire explained.

"Maybe you should just let it die." Sam laughed as she pulled Claire into a hug.

* * *

"We've known each other for…eighteen years, right?" Martin asked Kevin as they sat on the porch, each of them drinking a beer. 

"Yeah. That's how long we've lived next to each other." Kevin replied, staring at the sun that was setting.

"And during that time, we've become pretty good friends. You know me pretty well, right?" Martin questioned.

"Yeah." Kevin nodded.

"And you also know Sam pretty well too?" Martin questioned.

"Martin, where are you going with this?"

"Do you think that Sam would ever just leave me?"

"Leave you?" Kevin asked. "What, you mean as in leave you for good? Like a divorce?"

"Yeah." Martin nodded. He used to think that there was no way that Sam would ever leave him, especially after they worked through their problems before Sean and Rachel were born. But lately, and especially after reading part of Sam's journal, he had come to the realization that Sam could wake up tomorrow and walk out of his life for good.

Kevin laughed. "How many beers have you had tonight?"

"I've only had this one." Martin chuckled, pointing to the one in his hand.

"Then why are you thinking about that?" Kevin asked, confused. "I know that you guys have been experiencing some problems but Sam's only staying with Claire right now to help her."

"That's what she said." Martin nodded. "But I think Claire was just a good excuse for Sam to get away from me for a while."

"Are your problems really that serious?" Kevin didn't realize that. He knew that Martin and Sam were having some problems concerning Martin's father and the fact that their children had all moved out of the house. The empty nest syndrome was something that he had to battle with Julia a few years ago too and he knew that it was hard.

"I didn't think so." Martin sighed. "But I found some of Sam's journals and I've learned some things that I never…"

"Whoa!" Kevin stopped his friend. "Are you reading her journals?"

"Well…yeah." Martin sheepishly admitted. "But you can't tell anyone, not even Julia. You have to promise me that you won't tell another living soul."

"I promise." Kevin reluctantly replied. "But you should stop that right now. You're invading her privacy and if she finds out, you're in really big trouble."

"I know that." Martin stated. "But I can't seem to stop reading them. She writes things in there that I wish I had known at the time…things that I wish I had noticed…things that I wish I could change. I realize that she'll be monumentally angry with me if she finds out I'm reading them, but I have to continue. I have to finish them."

"Good luck with not letting her find out." Kevin chuckled. "You'll need it."

"Well I have a few more days before she's coming home. I'll be done reading them by then and she'll never need to know that I read them." Martin reasoned.

"Whatever you say." Kevin shook his head. "So by reading these journals you really think that Sam might want to leave you?"

"I think it's a possibility." Martin replied. "We haven't been talking to each other a lot lately and then when we do, it usually ends in an argument."

"Ah," Kevin sighed, "the empty nest syndrome strikes again."

"What's the empty nest syndrome?" Martin had never heard of that.

"I can't believe you've never heard about it." Kevin marveled. "Anyway, it's just a term used for what happens to married people once their kids grow up and leave home. When the nest is empty, problems can occur."

"Once the children are out of the house, there's usually a period of time where you're not sure what to talk about with your spouse anymore. Your lives had revolved around the children for so long that when they're gone, it's like all topics of conversation are gone. Does that sound familiar at all?"

"It's exactly what's going on with us." Martin nodded. "But that's not the only problem we have. It's just one of them."

"Well Julia and I had the empty nest problem a while back. Want to know how we solved it?"

"Of course." Martin looked over at Kevin, hoping for some kind of help. He was willing to try anything.

"We started out by finding a hobby that we could both get involved in. We chose getting back in shape and started exercising together. It provided us with a common goal and enabled us to spend some time together. That really helped us out a lot because once we got talking we couldn't stop. Once we broke down the wall everything started to get better."

"So what you're saying is that Sam and I need to find some kind of activity that we can do together?" Martin wanted to make sure that he completely understood what Kevin was trying to tell him.

"Exactly." Kevin nodded.

"It might help." He replied as he thought about it some more. "But then again it might not."

Kevin looked at his watch and saw that he had been over at Martin's for almost an hour. "I better get back to Julia. It's movie night." He stood up. "Thanks for the beer."

"No problem." Martin gave his friend a smile. "Thanks for the advice."

"Anytime." Kevin smiled back. "Really. If you want to talk again, you know where I live."

Martin laughed. "See ya."

"Bye." Kevin walked off the porch and traveled the short distance back to his house.

As Martin looked to the darkening sky, he thought about what Sam was doing right now. He couldn't help but wonder if she was as miserable as he was. From Claire's reports, she didn't seem like she was.


	6. Isobel

Marriage and Family

Chapter Six

Sam settled into her seat on the plane, waiting for it to take off from the runaway and staring aimlessly out the window. She took a deep breath, closing her eyes and letting her mind wander. Her thoughts zeroed in on the reunion of Claire with Nikolas.

_"There's my beautiful wife." Nikolas exclaimed happily as he approached where Claire and Sam were standing. He barely had the time to get those words out before Claire threw her arms around him and started kissing him._

_Sam stood back, looking down at the floor so as not to stare at her daughter and son-in-law. But she did manage to steal a few glances and smiled at the scene in front of her. She remembered how happy she was when they picked Martin up at the airport after he moved down here. _

_A few moments later, Claire and Nikolas separated, but not after whispering words of love and how much they missed each other. "Hello mom." Nikolas greeted, giving her a hug. _

_Sam still thought it was nice that Nikolas felt comfortable calling her mom. But why shouldn't he? He was a permanent fixture around their house for many years before he started dating Claire. "Hello Nikolas. It's good to see you." _

"_Likewise." Nikolas smiled, pulling away and wrapping his arm around Claire's waist. "I see that you've been taking excellent care of Claire. She looks wonderful." _

"_Mom's been a great help." Claire smiled, elated to have her husband home with her. "But unfortunately, she has a flight to catch soon. Don't you?" _

"_Yep." Sam smiled. _

"_Going home?" Nikolas asked. _

"_No, I'm making a detour to New York first. I have some old friends I'd like to see." Sam explained. _

"_Oh." Nikolas flashed Claire a questioning look asking why she wasn't going home and was met with one of her looks that meant she would tell him later. "Well I hope you have a safe flight." _

"_Thank you." Sam replied. _

_Claire broke away from Nikolas to give her mother a hug. "Thank you mom, for everything." _

"_You're welcome sweetie." Sam replied. "I love you." _

"_Love you too." Claire replied with a smile. _

"_I'll talk to you both later." Sam called as she headed for the ticket counter. _

The plane was getting ready to take off and Sam looked down to make sure that her seat belt was fastened tightly. It was but she pulled it tighter just for good measure.

As the plane started to increase its' altitude Sam started thinking about what she had told Claire. She told her daughter that the problems she was having with Martin weren't as bad as the ones they had eighteen years ago. In some ways that was true, but for the most part that was a lie.

Things were really bad for them right now. She wasn't sure how long they could keep this up without breaking. She chastised herself for allowing it to get this bad. After the last time, they both should have realized not to let their problems get this worse. But they didn't and now they were in the exact same position they were all those years ago.

Leslie would not be proud of them. She'd be really disappointed if she knew what was going on. But Sam was hoping that she'd have some ideas of exactly how to make things right. That's the main reason why Sam decided to stop over in New York.

Sure she wanted to see Danny, Michelle and the rest of the old gang. It had been way too long since she'd been able to visit with them. But the main stop was going to be to see Leslie.

Although Leslie had retired from her private practice a few months ago, Sam was more than confident that Leslie wouldn't mind giving her some advice and lending an ear to hear about their problems. She'd know what to do.

Sam laughed as she realized that Leslie's first suggestion would probably be to work on their communication. But that was always their biggest problem. It always had been and probably always would be.

"Excuse me," the woman sitting next to Sam spoke, "do you mind if I turn on the light?" She gestured to the light above them. "I was going to read my book but I also don't want to disturb you if you were wanting to get some sleep."

"That's very nice of you." Sam replied, looking over at the older woman. "But I'm not going to sleep. Feel free to turn the light on."

"Is everything ok dear?" The woman asked. "You look…distracted."

Sam usually didn't tell perfect strangers things about herself, but this woman made her want to talk. Maybe it was the fact that the woman was old enough to be her mother. "I'm just having some problems with my husband. That's all."

"Oh." The woman chuckled. "Man troubles. Those are the worst."

"Yeah." Sam chuckled with her. "They are."

"My name is Isobel." The woman held out her hand for Sam to shake.

"I'm Samantha." Sam replied, shaking the woman's hand.

"Nice to meet you Samantha." Isobel smiled. "So these man troubles…did he cheat?"

"No."

"Did you cheat?" Isobel asked.

"No." Sam shook her head.

"Well if you don't mind me asking, then what exactly is the problem?" Isobel was confused. Most of the problems with men she had encountered were because of cheating.

"We constantly fight about everything. Ever since our kids moved out, we've been having problems talking to each other. It's like we've completely run out of things to talk about. Then when we do talk, we fight. So we just quit talking." Sam explained.

"I see." Isobel nodded her head as she absorbed what Samantha was saying. "Sounds normal to me. Everyone has problems when their children first move out. My husband and I did."

"How did you fix it?" Sam was curious now. Maybe this stranger could help.

"We took a nice, long vacation together."

"Well that may work with getting us to talk more but it still won't solve all of our problems." Sam pointed out.

"You have other problems?" Isobel inquired.

"Yeah, and the main one is centered around my husband's father." Sam explained. "We let him move in with us because his health was getting bad and he couldn't take care of himself anymore. He lived with us for about four years before he died."

"That must have been hard, taking care of him." Isobel observed.

"It was. Of course it didn't help any that his father hated me. He was always yelling at me or accusing me of doing something just to spite him. My husband never saw that side of his father though so he always shrugged off any attempt I made of trying to talk to him about it." She paused, remembering one of the conversations she had with Martin about Victor.

_"Martin, we need to talk about your father." Sam told him as she climbed into bed and claimed her usual spot in his arms._

"_Is something wrong with him?" Martin asked, kissing her forehead. _

"_He's fine except for the fact that he finds something wrong with everything I do for him." Sam explained. _

"_No he doesn't." Martin shook his head. _

"_Yes, he does!" Sam exclaimed. _

"_Well he's probably just having trouble adjusting to living here. He's used to being alone so now living with four other people has got to be hard for him." Martin reasoned. _

"_He's been living here for three months." Sam pointed out. "He should be adjusted by now." _

"_Well maybe you should try to be a little nicer to him." Martin suggested. _

"_I am nice to him." Sam could feel the anger start to boil and decided to stop this before they ended up fighting. "Never mind." She sighed, turning out the light. "Goodnight. Love you." _

"_Love you too." Martin told her, kissing the top of her head again and pulling her close to him._

"Eventually I quit trying to talk to him about it."

She couldn't help but be a little angry with Martin for not seeing what was going on in his own family and for being so wrapped up with his father that he didn't see the repercussions that Victor's presence had on the family. "But I could deal with his father's insults and accusations. It was when he died that things really started getting bad. My husband started blaming me for his father's death."

"He blamed you?" Isobel asked, shocked by this twist. "Why? How?"

"It's a long story that I don't want to bore you with." Sam replied. "But the short summary is that I had convinced my husband to take me out to dinner without his father and when we came home, his father was dead from a heart attack."

"But he shouldn't have blamed you for that." Isobel pointed out. "It's not like you knew he was going to die."

"I know that and you know that. Most rational people know that, but he doesn't." She sighed. "He apologized for saying it, but things haven't been the same since then."

"You know, this isn't our first break. We had one about twenty years ago. We'd been having a lot of problems and even saw a marriage counselor for a while. And everything was going well until my father-in-law moved in. Sometimes I wonder if things will ever be good again and if we'll ever be able to make it work or if we're just wasting our time."

"There's an old quote that I've always tried to be true to. In my old age I have forgotten where I heard it, but this is how it goes. 'When two people love each other, really love each other, but they just can't get it together; when do you get to that point when enough is enough? The answer is never. You never give up as long as the love is there.'"

Isobel sighed. "I have tried to live by that my whole life and it's part of what has kept me and my husband together for so long."

"How long have you and your husband been married?" Sam asked.

"Almost forty-eight years." Isobel smiled proudly. "This is kind of a personal question, but do you love your husband?"

Sam was quiet for a moment, thinking about Martin and everything they had been through together. "Yeah, I do."

"And does he love you too?"

"I don't know anymore." Sam admitted sadly. "Sometimes I don't think he likes me very much, but…"

"Maybe you should ask him." Isobel suggested. "I'd wager a guess and say that he loves you too. And if there's love there, you can't give up."

* * *

Sam and Isobel spent the rest of the flight talking about their husbands and families. Sam told her about her children, and Isobel informed Sam about her five children and seven grandchildren. The time flew by so fast that Sam could hardly believe it when the pilot announced that they were making their final dissent and they would be landing in five minutes. 

"It was really nice talking to you Isobel." Sam smiled at the woman after they got off the plane.

"And it was nice to meet you Samantha. I hope everything works out for you." Isobel smiled back.

"Thanks." Sam called after the woman as she headed to go claim her baggage. After she got her bag, she looked around but didn't see Danny. He was supposed to be there to pick her up, but, looking at her watch she noticed that he was already twenty minutes late. With a sigh, she rolled her bag over to a nearby chair and sat down.

As she waited for Danny to get there, she started thinking about Martin. He was pretty much all she ever thought about though. While she was with Claire, she tried really hard not to let any sadness or any signs of missing Martin show because she didn't want to worry her daughter.

Besides, Claire was missing Nikolas so much that she didn't want to add to that. So she'd pushed Martin to the back of her mind in hopes of avoiding the problems and the sadness, only acknowledging thoughts of him when she cried into her pillow at night.

But now that she wasn't around Claire, she embraced her feelings. She really missed Martin. She missed everything about him. Even though there were moments where she disliked everything about him, she still missed him.

She's been apart from him for three months now and that was a record. They weren't even apart from each other that long when they were on their break all those years ago. The more she thought about the situation they were in, the more depressed she got.

Danny entered the airport and looked around frantically for any sign of Sam. When he saw her sitting down, he heaved a sigh of relief and headed over to her.

"Hey. I am so sorry that I'm late, but there was this accident on the highway that you wouldn't believe. There were cops and ambulances all over the place…" His explanation was cut off when she looked up and he saw that she was crying.

"I didn't make you cry, did I?" Danny felt really bad because he started thinking that he was responsible for her tears. "Ah Sam I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to…"

She shook her head. "It's not you. I don't care that you're late." She sobbed.

He sat down next to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. "Then what's wrong? Why are you crying?"

She proceeded to tell him about all of the reasons why she was crying and Danny, being the good friend that he was, listened and let her cry until she had exhausted all tears.


	7. Why Didn't You Tell Me?

Marriage and Family

Chapter Seven

The next morning, Sam came down the stairs at Danny and Michelle's house and sheepishly entered the kitchen. She was still embarrassed about the fact that she cried on Danny's shoulder for a couple of hours last night. That wasn't her intention, but after holding everything in for the past three months, the floodgates opened and she couldn't stop the tears once they started falling.

"Good morning." Michelle smiled, handing Sam a cup of coffee.

"Morning." Sam greeted, gratefully taking the cup. She definitely needed coffee today.

"How did you sleep?" Michelle asked, sitting across from Sam at the table.

"Like a rock. Once I hit the pillow I was asleep." Sam explained.

"I'm not surprised." Michelle told her. "I knew you'd be exhausted from all that crying you did."

"I'm sorry about that." Sam apologized. "I really didn't mean to fall apart like that."

"Don't worry about it." Michelle assured her. "It happens and it's ok."

"Yeah, but…"

"No buts Sam." Michelle cut her off. "You don't have to apologize. There's nothing to be sorry about. Sometimes we all just need to cry and let it out. Sometimes that can make us feel better."

"I do feel a little better." Sam admitted, taking a drink of the coffee. "I've been trying to put on this happy face for Claire for so long that I guess falling apart was inevitable."

"I think you're right." Michelle agreed. "But you don't need to put on a happy face for us. If you want to talk, we can. And if you want to completely avoid the topic, we can do that too. It's totally up to you."

"Thanks." Sam smiled.

"So what are your plans while you're here?" Michelle smiled.

"Well I think Danny is going to try and set up a dinner tonight to catch up with Vivian and Jack." Sam replied. She also wanted to go visit Leslie, but that could wait until tomorrow.

"Yeah Danny mentioned something about that. I think he's outside right now calling them to set it up." Michelle nodded. "Any chance I can drag you out of the house for some shopping today?"

Sam laughed. "I think that could be arranged."

* * *

_Saturday, January 2, 2027_

_Patience is a virtue. Patience is a virtue. Patience is a virtue. Patience is a virtue. Patience is a virtue. Patience is a virtue. Patience is a virtue. Patience is a virtue._

_No matter how many times I repeat that phrase in my mind it doesn't seem to help me much. I know it's not a nice thing to say or even think about another person, but there are definitely times that I hate Victor. _

_And you know, it's not that I hate him so much as I hate the way he acts. I take care of him during the day while Martin is at work, but do I get even a simple thank you from Victor? Do I get any kind of sign that he appreciates what I do for him? No. I get yelled at. Everything I do for that man is wrong!  
_

_Yet Martin can come in during the evenings or on the weekend and sit with him for a half hour and that's all Victor raves about—how Martin is such a good son and takes such good care of him. Argh!_

_It's not that I'm selfish and want to be thanked for what I do. I could deal with Victor if he simply ignored what I do. But instead he finds fault with everything I do. 'My coffee's too hot…now my coffee's too cold…I didn't want sugar in my coffee…I wanted cream instead…this coffee tastes funny…you're trying to poison my coffee.' _

_I wasn't trying to poison his coffee because I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't waste perfectly good poison on him._

Martin was drawn out of his reading by the ringing of the phone. He stuck his Kleenex bookmark in the journal before getting up from the couch and answering the phone. "Hello?"

"Hey are you busy right now?" Danny asked.

"Well hello to you too Danny." Martin greeted.

"Sorry." Danny sighed. "Hello Martin. Are you busy right now?"

"No, not really. Why?" Martin wondered why Danny would ask him that. "Did Sam's flight get in last night? Is she ok?"

"Yes and no." Danny replied. "Sam's flight did get in last night and she's not really fine."

Martin's heart sunk. "What's wrong?"

"Why did you tell me that you and Sam are having problems again?" Danny asked, ignoring Martin's question.

"Oh." Martin knew what this was about now. "I don't know Danny. I guess I just didn't want to bother you."

"Well Sam would probably kill me if she knew I was telling you this, but when I went to the airport last night she was a mess. She was just sitting down in a chair bawling her eyes out because of what's going on between you two."

"She was?" This surprised Martin. He was beginning to think that Sam didn't care about their marriage. But she must care if she was crying in the airport.

"Yeah." Danny answered. "In between sobs she told me the whole story—at least I think it's the whole story but it's possible she left some things out."

"I appreciate you telling me this Danny. Up until now I was beginning to think that Sam didn't care anymore. I mean she rarely calls me. I'm the one who has to call her. She acts like she doesn't want to be around me."

"Can you really blame her though?" Danny asked. "I mean Martin, you're one of my best and closest friends, but how in the world are you that dense and oblivious? How could you not see what Sam was going through?"

"I don't know." Martin answered. Since he started reading Sam's journals he was asking himself that same question and had yet to come up with a good answer. "The only answer I can come up with is that I only saw what I wanted to see. I wanted to see that my family was getting alone and that everything was fine. So that's what I saw. I ignored all signs that something was wrong."

"I don't think you can ignore the signs now." Danny pointed out.

"I don't think so either." Martin agreed. "I'm not surprised that she didn't want to talk to me though. After reading her journals…I mean, after going back and thinking about the past…"

"Martin, are you reading her journals?" Danny had a feeling that's what Martin was saying before he backtracked.

"Yes, but you have to promise not to tell her." Martin sighed. If he kept telling everyone that he was reading her journals, there was no way he would be able to keep it from her. He made a vow to quit letting it slip out because if he wasn't careful, the whole world would find out. And he couldn't keep the whole world from telling Sam.

"Oh dude, you are going to be in such big trouble when she finds out." Danny shook his head in frustration.

"I know." Martin nodded. "But it's the only way I can think of to find out exactly how to fix things with Sam. Reading them has given me a lot of insight into what I've missed."

"I won't tell Sam, but I'm not condoning this either." Danny finally relented. Originally he had thought that Sam deserved to know and was going to tell her about it. But in the end, he decided it wasn't his place to tell her. She would most likely find out on her own anyway.

"Thanks Danny." Martin heaved a sigh of relief. "How is Sam now?"

Danny was outside on the porch using his cell phone to call Martin. He had come outside so that Sam wouldn't wake up and overhear him calling Martin. He looked into the kitchen and saw Sam drinking coffee and talking with Michelle. "She looks like she's doing a little better. At least the tears have stopped."

"That's good." Martin was glad that she wasn't crying anymore.

"If you are so worried about Sam finding out you told me, why did you tell me anyway?" Martin asked out of curiosity.

"Because I thought you should know what your wife is going through and I know that Sam would be too stubborn to tell you herself." Danny replied.

"Well thank you." Martin was glad that they both had such a good friend.

"So what are you going to do about this?" Danny asked.

"I have no idea yet." Martin confessed. "But Sam and I really need to talk. There are a lot of things that we need to say to each other."

"I agree." Danny told him. "And it wouldn't hurt you to try and make up for forgetting your anniversary either. That really hurt her a lot."

"I know. It was a stupid mistake." Martin replied. "Is she still hurt about that? It happened months ago."

"She seemed upset about it last night." Danny answered. "Said something about how that showed her how low she ranked on your priority list."

"That's not true." Martin protested. "She's very high on my priority list. I just forgot."

"That may be the truth, but I'm just telling you what she said." Danny replied.

"We're going to have to sit down and have a long talk when she gets back." Martin told him. "Has she mentioned when she's coming home?"

"I think she's just planning on staying today and tomorrow before heading back. At least, that's what she told me last night." Danny explained.

"Good." Martin exclaimed. "That will give me plenty of time to read the rest of these journals and start planning what I'm going to say to her."

"Sounds like a good idea." Danny told him. "Look, I better go. I just wanted to give you a heads up about Sam."

"Thanks. I appreciate it."

"No problem." Danny shrugged. "Talk to you later."

"Yeah. Bye." Martin hung up the phone and stared at it for a moment. He couldn't believe that Sam was really that upset about what was going on with them. He was really starting to believe that she was perfectly fine without him, but maybe that was just an act for Claire.

He chastised himself for yet again ignoring the signs that she wasn't fine without him. Looking back, he could tell it in her voice. There was always something that made him wonder if she was just faking it and wasn't doing well with their separation. He did have to give her credit though. She was a good actress. He bet that Claire was well convinced by her charade too.

Now that he knew Sam was probably just as torn up as he was about their situation, he vowed to find a way to make everything up to her—if she let him.

* * *

"It's a good thing we stopped shopping when we did or else I wouldn't have enough money to get back home again!" Sam exclaimed with a smile on her face as she released the grip she had on her shopping bags and plopped down on the couch. 

Michelle sat next to Sam after putting her bags down too and sighed. "Well that was fun."

"Yeah. It was." Sam nodded in agreement. "Thanks. I needed that."

"No problem." Michelle smiled. "You know I love any excuse to go shopping!"

"So do you ladies buy out all the stores?" Danny asked, coming into the room and placing a kiss on Michelle before taking a long look at the bags. "Do we have any money left sweetheart?"

"We have plenty of money darling." Michelle smirked. "Most of these bags are Sam's."

"Oh." Danny laughed, looking over at Sam. "So do you and Martin have any money left?"

"Ha ha Danny." Sam chuckled. "For your information, we hit a lot of really good sales today."

"Yes, extremely good sales." Michelle agreed.

Danny saw a familiar looking bag from Victoria's Secret. "Oh I see you went to my favorite store." He tried to reach for the bag so that he could see into it but Michelle yanked it away from him. "Hey! Why can't I see what you bought?"

"Because maybe I want it to be a surprise." Michelle told him.

Danny pouted, making a weird face and going over to sit in a nearby face.

"Oh quit pouting you big baby!" Michelle playfully bossed him around.

"I'll pout if I want to." Danny told her.

"Whatever." Michelle chuckled and rolled her eyes. "He is such a baby sometimes."

"It's nice to see that some things never change." Sam stated.

"You know I am still in the room." Danny told them. "It's not polite to talk about someone when they are sitting three feet away from you."

"Sorry." Sam and Michelle apologized with a chuckle.

"Anyway," Danny rolled his eyes, "I called Viv and Jack. They are meeting us for dinner tonight at seven."

"Great." Sam smiled. "It will be nice to see them."


	8. We Don't Dance Anymore

Marriage and Family

Chapter Eight

_Monday, November 22, 2027_

_Victor ran off today. Well actually he didn't run. He can barely walk, so maybe I should say he wandered off. I thought he was resting in his room, but when I went to go check on him an hour later he wasn't there. So I searched the whole house for him only to find that he wasn't around._

_Sean and Rachel were still at school and Martin was at work so I knew it was up to me to find Victor before he got himself into trouble. I took the car and started canvassing the neighborhood, finding him within five minutes._

_Somehow he had wandered out of the house and managed to walk over half a mile. When I found him he was just standing on the sidewalk staring blankly at the intersection. After helping him into the car, which was a real battle because he didn't want to come home, I took him back to the house and helped him get comfortable on his bed._

_I have no idea why he ran off, but I guess this means that I need to keep a closer eye on him. When I told Martin what had happened he got mad at me and made it all my fault, telling me that I should have been paying more attention to his father._

_Honestly I don't see how it was my fault. Am I supposed to handcuff Victor to myself so that he never leaves my sight? Because that is NOT happening._

_I'd get mad at Martin for blaming that on me, but I'm too emotionally drained right now. Maybe I'll just be mad at him tomorrow after I get some sleep._

* * *

Sam entered Carmine's after Danny and Michelle, following them to their table. Vivian and Jack were already seated and were talking as the looked over their menus. 

"Well now the party can officially start because I am here." Danny proclaimed with extreme enthusiasm.

Vivian shook her head and smiled when she saw Sam, getting up and giving her a hug. "It's been too long since I've seen you. How are you?"

"Good." Sam replied, not wanting to go into the problems with Martin. "And how are you Viv?"

"Oh you know. Can't really complain." Vivian shrugged. Danny and Michelle had already scooted into the booth so she took the spot on the end.

Jack got up and Sam gave him a quick hug. "How are you Jack?"

"Good. Really good." Jack smiled, pulling back from the hug and scooting back into the booth.

Sam saw that the only space left for her was to sit next to Jack so she sat on the end. "How is Trish?"

Trish was a lawyer that Jack met through Michelle about ten years ago. They dated for a short time before getting married. She was the perfect choice for Jack. She was a private person like him, but encouraged him to be more open with those that he cared about. She was a good influence on him. For the first time since Sam met him, he was actually happy and she couldn't be happier for him.

"Trish is good." Jack nodded. "She would have been here but she went to Buffalo this morning to check on her mother because she just had surgery. She wanted to make sure that everything went well."

"Anything serious?" Sam asked.

"No, I don't think so." Jack shook his head.

"Good." Sam was glad about that.

"Marcus would have been here but he's coming down with a cold and didn't want to spread it to everyone." Vivian explained.

"That's too bad." Sam told Vivian. "I hope he gets feelings better soon."

"I think he will. It seems like it's just a cold." Vivian said. "So how are the kids?"

"They're fine." Sam smiled.

"And Martin?" Vivian asked. "How's he doing?"

"He's fine too." Sam replied, not wanting to go into any details.

* * *

Later that evening, as Sam was getting ready to go to bed, she sat on the edge of the bed. After hesitating for a moment, she grabbed the phone and dialed the number before she lost her nerve. It took several rings before the voice she wanted to hear greeted her. 

"Hello?" Martin's groggy voice answered.

"Did I wake you up?" Sam asked, looking at the clock and seeing that it was rather late. She immediately felt guilty for waking him up.

"Yeah. I think I dozed off there for awhile." Martin told her.

"Sorry." She apologized.

"It's fine. Don't worry about it." Martin assured her. Honestly he didn't care if she woke him up. He was just glad to get to talk to her.

"I can call back tomorrow if you want to go back to sleep…"

"No, that's ok." Martin interrupted her. "I was having a dream about you, but I would rather talk to you."

"You were dreaming about me?" She laughed. It wasn't that she found it funny it simply caught her off-guard.

"Yeah." Martin answered. "I was dreaming of that summer that we spent the whole week here in the house by ourselves. Remember?"

"Of course I remember that." Sam told him.

He was glad that she remembered. Of course he didn't think that week was forgettable. "Claire was still at college taking summer classes, Sean went to some kind of summer camp for geniuses and Rachel spent the week with my parents."

"It wasn't a summer camp for geniuses." She couldn't help but laugh. "It was a science camp."

"I guess it just seemed like a genius camp." Martin chuckled, elated at the fact that he had managed to make her laugh twice in five minutes. That hadn't happened in months. "The point is that was a good week."

A smile formed on Sam's face as she remembered that week. Martin was right. It was a good week. They spent the entire week together and had a lot of fun. "That seems like a long time ago."

"How long ago was it?" Martin asked. "Six years?"

"Seven." Sam corrected him. "It was seven years ago."

"Right. Seven years ago." Martin nodded. "I was dreaming about that one dinner we had out on the porch. Remember that?"

"Yeah. I do." Sam replied.

_It was the third night of their week without the kids and since it was a nice night, they decided to eat their dinner on the porch. They had just finished their dinner and were sitting in chairs looking at the sunset._

"_This week has been great so far." Martin smiled, looking over at her. _

"_Yeah, it has." Sam agreed, looking over at him. "I mean I miss the kids. But it's nice getting to spend some alone time with you. I miss that." _

"_I have missed that too." Martin admitted. "But just think of all the alone time we're going to have once Rachel goes to college. We'll be alone all the time." _

_Sam smiled. "And what are we going to do with all that alone time?" _

_He got up and held his hand out to her. "Well we could always dance. Will you dance with me?"_

"_But there's no music." She told him._

"_Ok." He nodded. "If the lady wants music, the lady shall have music." He disappeared into the kitchen for a moment and came back out with a small cd player. After pressing a few buttons, a slow song soon rang out through the speakers. "Now will you dance with me?"_

"_I'd love to." She grinned, taking his hand and letting him lead her to an empty spot of the porch. She wrapped her arm around his neck and laid her head on his chest as they swayed to the music. _

_He kept his arm wrapped tightly around her waist and pulled her as close to him as was possible. "Now this is the way every night should end." _

"_With dancing?" She questioned._

"_No, with you in my arms." He replied._

"We don't dance anymore." Martin pointed out.

"No we don't." Sam agreed.

"We used to dance all the time once the kids went to bed." Martin reminisced.

"We stopped doing that once your father moved in." Sam reminded him.

"Yeah, we did." Martin nodded. Earlier in the day he had read an entry that mentioned how she missed dancing with him. When he thought about it, he realized that it had been a long time since they danced together like that. He missed it too and vowed to make up for that. "But we shouldn't have. We should have kept dancing anyway."

"I think it is too late now for 'should haves'." Sam told him.

"Maybe." Martin shrugged. "But when you get home, will you dance with me again?"

She was caught off guard by that question and the fact that he still wanted to dance with her. She had always missed their dancing but thought that she was the only one so she never brought it up. Now though, hearing that he wanted to start that again, well it gave her some hope. "Actually I'd like that a lot."

"Great." His face broke out into a huge grin. "So when are you coming home?"

"I have some things I wanted to do around here tomorrow so I was thinking about flying back sometime the day after tomorrow." Sam explained.

"Ok." Although he wished that she was coming back tomorrow, it would at least give him some more time to finish the rest of her journals.

"Well I'm going to let you get back to sleep now." Sam told him.

"Wait!" Martin asked. "Was there a specific reason why you called?"

She didn't know what to say. She didn't really have a reason for calling. She just felt like she needed to hear his voice. The last thing she expected was for them to have such a nice conversation without any kind of fighting or arguing. It was nice. She had actually enjoyed talking to him.

"I just…I just wanted to see how you were doing." She replied.

"I'm ok I guess." He replied. He figured that this might be his only chance to say this to her so he went for it. "I miss you though."

"You do?" She asked, almost in non-belief as tears came to her eyes.

"Yeah, of course I do." He assured her. "I know we weren't on good terms when you left, but I miss you."

"Well I miss you too." She softly told him.

He was overjoyed to hear that from her. They were actually having a conversation about their relationship that wasn't ending in an argument. He couldn't believe their luck and couldn't help but want to see just how far he could take it. "I love you Sam."

She had to wipe a few tears from her eyes when she heard him say those words to her. It had been a while since he'd said that to her. "I love you too."

"I'll let you get some sleep." Martin told her. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight." Sam replied, hanging up.


	9. Sometimes I Want To Scream

Marriage and Family

Chapter Nine

_Friday, April 28, 2028_

_I keep having this reoccurring dream where I'm sinking in quick sand. I'm slowly sinking and I reach out for Martin, but he's busy with his father and has his back to me. I call out to him, but he either doesn't hear me or doesn't care enough to turn around and help. So I just continue sinking into a big pit of blackness. I'm not Freud, but I have a pretty good idea what that dream means. _

_Victor's lived with us for over two years now. Has it really only been two years? It's hard to believe that. It seems like he's lived here forever. _

_I'm starting to get really worried about my relationship with Martin. There's a bad tension between us starting to brew and it can only mean trouble. I've noticed that we don't spend as much time alone together anymore now that Victor has moved in. _

_With the kids, work, and other things we have going, we didn't get that much alone time to begin with. But now we have even less. We don't talk about things much anymore and there are a lot of things that we don't do anymore. _

_I've already mentioned the whole dancing thing but that's just one of the things. We used to make sure that we always went out to dinner by ourselves at least once a month. We'd get all dressed up, make sure the kids had a babysitter, and go out to some really nice restaurant where we would talk about anything except the children. That was a forbidden topic for the entire night. _

_The dinners were a way for us to reconnect and help keep our marriage strong so that we didn't fall back into the old patterns that caused us problems so many years ago. And they had worked. Although we had many fights and arguments during those eighteen years, it was never even close to being as serious as the trouble we had previously. _

_But now that those dinners have stopped, I feel trouble coming back. It's just waiting in the shadows, watching and waiting for the right time to make itself known. I'd say something to Martin, but he'd just shrug it off again. _

_He doesn't seem to share my concern about our relationship. All of my earlier attempts of trying to convince him to go out to dinner with me have fallen on deaf ears. He claims it wouldn't be nice or wise to leave his father here by himself. I've even offered to find his father a babysitter, but he still won't go. _

_I don't know what Martin's problem is. This is just a guess, but Martin's never had a really close relationship with his father. He's told me several times that his father made his life miserable when he was growing up because of the high standards he was supposed to measure up to. He was supposed to be the perfect son, living out Victor's dreams with a smile on his face._

_I think his father's high standards led him to act out, rebelling in the only way he could—by doing the opposite of what his father wanted._

_He was supposed to go into politics and become a governor or a senator. But instead he entered the FBI. He excelled in everything he did. He became an excellent, resourceful, well-liked agent but that wasn't enough for his father. _

_He still wanted more from his only son. He wanted perfection. He wanted the impossible. _

_He wanted Martin to marry a senator's daughter. Instead, Martin married me._

_He must have accepted the fact that Martin wasn't going into politics at some point and time because eventually he wanted Martin to stop working as a field agent and take a more upper-management position—kind of like the one he had. But Martin refused that too and stayed a field agent. _

_Martin's whole life has seemed to be about defying his father's wishes and isolating himself from his father. But now that his father is sick and Martin has to come to terms with his father's mortality, he seems to want nothing more than to cling to him. _

_When he's home, he hovers around his father, trying to do anything and everything to spend more time with him. It's as if he seems to think that he can cram decades of missed opportunities for father-son bonding into a few short years. Martin seems determined to make up for lost time and establish a good relationship with his father before he dies. _

_I'm not sure it can be done. I could be wrong through. I just hope that the cost of Martin getting a relationship with his father isn't our marriage._

* * *

"So what do you want to do today?" Danny asked. 

"Actually, I have someone in town that I want to visit today if that's ok." Sam told Danny and Michelle as were finishing their breakfast the next day.

"Do you want to borrow our car?" Danny asked. He would be happy to let her borrow one of their cars, as long as it was Michelle's. He still had very little faith in Sam's ability to drive and didn't want to give her his car. It wasn't that he didn't trust her driving, he just…didn't trust her driving.

"Would you mind? I'll only be gone for a couple of hours." Sam hated to ask such a big favor from them.

"No, it's fine." Michelle told her. "I was going to do some gardening today anyway so I don't need my car."

"Here." Danny handed her a set of keys. "You can take Michelle's car."

"Thanks." Sam smiled. "I really appreciate it."

"It's no problem." Michelle shrugged.

* * *

_Thursday, August 17, 2028_

_Family tradition #57 that has changed since Victor moved in: dinners with just Martin, the kids and myself. We used to have nice dinners with just the family. We'd talk about our day and share any funny or amusing anecdotes. We'd laugh and joke around with each other. We'd have fun. _

_Those days are gone now._

_Now our dinners are spent with Victor feeling the need to use dinnertime as an opportunity to tell stories about his life. It wouldn't be so bad if he didn't always tell the same stories. Well they are kind of the same stories. He'll change the details around, but the general idea of the story was always the same._

_I'm not even convinced that all of the stories he tells us are really about him. Some of the stories contradict each other and also the general timeline of his life. He'll reference things from his past that weren't around at the time in the story. His memory for some things is definitely fading fast. _

_When he's not telling stories about his life, he's constantly interrupting me when I talk. He's quiet while everyone else in the family speaks, except for me. I'm the only one that he disrespects in that way. Martin, Rachel, Sean, and Claire when she's home from college get treated with respect. He only interrupts me!_

_I swear it's like he is constantly trying to see how mad he can make me. It's like it's a game to him and for some reason I can't just shrug it off. I can usually ignore it when people try to make me mad, but I can't do that with Victor. _

_He gets to me and I hate that! Why can't I just let it go and let it roll off my back? Why does this have to bother me so much? _

_Sometimes I just want to scream. The only thing that holds me back is the fact that I don't want to get yelled at by him for making too much noise. I was already told three times last week that my washing machine was too loud and disturbing him while he was trying to nap._


	10. Leslie To The Rescue

Marriage and Family

Chapter Ten

Sam walked up the walkway to the door of the two-story house and paused for a moment before ringing the doorbell. She had called Leslie before she left Michigan to make sure that Leslie would be in town and to make sure that it would be ok if she visited. She was pretty sure that Leslie could tell from the tone of her voice that she needed to talk and assured her that she would be happy to see her.

Leslie opened the door and smiled when she saw Samantha. "Samantha. It's wonderful to see you again. Come on in."

"Hello Leslie." She gave the woman a hug as she entered the house. "How are you?"

"Fine. Just fine." Leslie replied. "And you?"

"Fine." Sam replied.

Leslie's eyes narrowed as she looked at Samantha. "For some strange reason I don't really believe you. Would you like some tea while you tell me what's bothering you?"

Sam smiled nervously. "Tea would be wonderful."

Leslie led Sam into the kitchen and let her sit down while she fixed the tea. A few minutes later she placed a cup of tea in front of Samantha. "So why don't you tell me what's wrong?"

"It's Martin and I." Sam sheepishly told her. "We've hit another wall. We don't communicate very well anymore and we can't talk without getting into an argument. It's like we've forgotten everything that you and Jackie taught us."

"I see." Leslie nodded.

Sam was confused. She was expecting Leslie to say more than 'I see'. She was expecting her to say that she was disappointed in them and then wonder how they let it happen again.

"That's all you have to say about it? I see?" Sam laughed. "You aren't going to say that you're disappointed or ask how we let this happen again?"

"No Samantha. I'm not going to say that. Maybe you should follow me." Leslie smiled, motioning for Samantha to follow her into her office. There were three walls with photos of families on them. "This is the wall of success, well I guess I should say walls of success. Each photo is a family that I have counseled and that have stayed together. I ran out of room and had to use more than one wall."

Leslie walked over to one of the walls and started studying the photos, pointing to them as she talked. "There are many families here that have had setbacks and hit walls after getting therapy. This family, this one, this, them, they did…You know, it would probably be easier and quicker to just point to the ones that didn't encounter some kind of setback."

"So what are you trying to show me?" Sam asked.

"It's normal to have some kind of a setback and fall into familiar patterns of behavior. Honestly, I'm surprised it took you guys this long to revert back to your old ways." She laughed. "Impressed, but surprised."

"So what do you suggest we do?" Sam asked.

"Do you still love each other?" Leslie asked.

"Yes." Sam nodded. After he conversation with Martin last night was at least convinced of that.

"Do you remember what I told you eighteen years ago?" She questioned.

"You told us a lot of things eighteen years ago." Sam chuckled. "Care to be more specific?"

"Do you remember what I told you about communication?" Leslie clarified.

"That it was important?" Sam guessed.

"Yes." Leslie nodded. "It's one of the most important parts of a successful marriage."

"Neither of us have been very good at communicating what we're thinking or feeling." Sam sighed.

"When did the problems start?"

"When his father moved in with us." Sam admitted. "His father was getting sick and Martin brought him home. He lived with us for about four years before he died."

"I see. That can be rather stressful to have to care for an older person like that."

"Yes it can." Sam agreed. "Martin was still working full-time so most of the time it was my job to look after Victor."

"And I'm guessing that you didn't like that?" Leslie asked.

"Not really." Sam shook her head. "Victor and I never really got along. He always felt like I wasn't good enough for his precious son and told me that every chance he got. He was rude, cantankerous, belligerent, mean-spirited…"

"Ok I get the point." Leslie cut her off. "You two didn't get along well. So then why did Martin bring his father into your home?"

"Martin was pretty oblivious to everything that his father said or did. Victor was usually at least polite to me when Martin was around, making it very difficult for me to prove to Martin what Victor was doing while he was away."

"Did you try?"

"Yes, I did." Sam assured her. "Many times."

"And Martin never believed you about it?" Leslie guessed.

"No, not really." Sam explained. "He'd tell me that it was in my imagination or that Victor was just adjusting to living here and that I was being too overly-sensitive. So eventually I just quit trying to tell Martin about it. He wasn't listening anyway."

"You mentioned that Martin's father is dead now." Leslie pointed out. "When did he die?"

Sam thought about it for a moment. "Well I guess it's been seven or eight months now."

"And things haven't gotten better for you two?" Leslie deduced.

"No." Sam shook her head. "If anything, they've gotten worse. At one time he even blamed me for his death. He might still blame me…I'm not sure and kind of afraid to find out."

"How could you be responsible for his death?" Leslie asked, wondering how that was possible.

"Martin and I used to go out to dinner without the kids every once and a while. We did it so that we could reconnect and have a chance to talk without any interruptions. But when his father moved in, those dinners stopped because Martin didn't want to leave his father."

She sighed, pausing for a moment. "It took me a long time to convince Martin to come out to dinner with me. After a lot of convincing and practically begging him, he agreed." She thought back to that night.

_"This is going to be fun." She smiled at him through the mirror as she put on her last earring._

"_Yeah." He replied, unenthusiastically. _

_She sighed, shaking her head and moving to where he was standing. "You don't want to go, do you?" _

"_It's not that." He gave her a weak smile and leaned in to kiss the top of her forehead. "I want to go. I just don't think that we should leave my father here by himself." _

"_I told you we could get him a babysitter." She pointed out._

"_I know, but that seems a little ridiculous." He laughed. "Maybe we could just order in some food and eat in here. That way we'd still be close by…"_

"_Martin, we haven't gone out to dinner by ourselves in almost four years. I don't know about you, but I have missed that. We don't get to spend any time alone together anymore." _

"_I know, and I'm sorry about that." He apologized, grabbing a hold of her hand and linking their fingers together. "But my father's getting worse and…" _

"_And he takes priority over everything else." She removed her hand from his grasp and moved over to the bed, picking up her purse and pretending to shuffle through it like she was looking for something. "I get it."_

"_Sam, you know that's not it." He argued. _

"_No Martin, actually I don't." She turned to face him, throwing her purse on the bed. "Let me ask you something. If your father and I were both sinking in quick sand, who would you save first?" _

"_What kind of a question is that?" Martin laughed. _

"_The kind that I want you to answer." Sam replied, putting her hands on her hips. _

"_It's a silly question though." He countered. _

"_I don't think it's silly. I want you to answer it." She wanted to know where she ranked on his priority list and figured that this would be a good way to figure it out. " Please?" _

"_Fine." He relented, thinking about the question for a moment. "I guess I'd try to save my father first and then check on you. But that's only because…"_

_Sam closed her eyes and shook her head, unable to believe what she was hearing. He'd save his father first? Anger started boiling up within her as she realized how he felt. She pushed past him and stormed into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. _

_Martin sighed, realizing that he had done something to make her angry. He walked over to the bathroom and knocked on the door. "Sam…" He tried to open the door but it was locked. "Sam, can you unlock the door please?" _

"_No." Came the sharp reply. _

"_Please? Just let me explain."_

_There was silence for a moment until Sam unlocked and opened the door. "And just what are you going to explain? Why would you save your father before me?" _

"_Because he can't take care of himself." Martin reasoned. "You're a strong, clever, resourceful federal agent who can take care of herself."_

_While she could see the reasoning behind his answer, it still hurt her to think that if faced with that situation his first concern would be getting his father out safely. _

"_I'm sorry if my answer made you mad. That wasn't my intention." _

"_I realize that." Sam replied. _

_He pulled her into a hug, lightly rubbing her back. He wasn't sure why his answer upset her so much, but was sorry about it and didn't want to see her angry with him. "Can we have a nice dinner with no fighting tonight?"_

"_You're still going to come?" She asked hopefully. Although he had finally agreed to come out to dinner with her a week ago, she kept thinking that he would find some reason to weasel out of it. _

"_Of course." He grinned. _

"_Then let's go." She told him, eager to get him out of the house before he changed his mind or Victor convinced him to stay. She went over to the bed and picked up her purse. "This night will be fun."_

"_I have no doubt it will be because I'll be with you." Martin put his hand on her back, gently guiding her out of the bedroom. _

"So you managed to get him to go out to dinner with you?" Leslie asked.

"Yes." Sam nodded. "And dinner was great once I got him to stop talking about his father. We had a really good time and I felt like there was still hope for us."

"Well then what happened?"

"Then we went home and everything fell apart." Sam answered.


	11. Calm Before The Storm

Marriage and Family

Chapter Eleven

"Let's talk about what happened when you two got back home." Leslie suggested.

"Ok." Sam sighed. "Well like I said, dinner was really great. We were able to talk and I felt like we were getting back on track. Once he stopped talking about his father we had some really nice conversations and everything felt different between us. It was almost like once I broke the spell his father had on him, he was the old Martin again."

"The old Martin?" Leslie questioned, hoping for an explanation.

"Yeah, the Martin he was before Victor came to live with us. Sometimes I felt like Martin was under some kind of spell, like he was mesmerized by his father or something. I can't really explain it but Martin starting changing the moment Victor stepped into our house."

"How exactly did he change?"

"He just became a different person. He was more distant and preoccupied, consumed by this need he had to try and be the perfect son to his father while he could." Sam explained.

"Did you try and tell him that?" Leslie asked, guessing that Samantha hadn't.

"I didn't know how to." She shook her head. "And to be completely honest, I was afraid to say anything."

"Why afraid?" Leslie questioned.

"Every time I tried to talk to Martin about his father, no matter what it was about, he would always give me this weird look. It wasn't really annoyance or anger, but it was almost like he didn't think I had a right to talk badly about his father. I just always got the feeling like he didn't appreciate my input and didn't want to hear anything bad about his father." Sam explained.

Leslie took a moment to absorb what Samantha was telling her before continuing. "So you said that everything fell apart when you got home that night. What happened?"

_"Dinner was great." Sam marveled as they walked up the sidewalk to the door._

"_It was, wasn't it?" Martin agreed, kissing the back of her neck. He had his arms wrapped around her waist as they walked from the car to the front door. "I'm glad we came out tonight." _

"_So am I." Sam stopped at the door, turning around into Martin's embrace. Dinner had been exactly what they needed. Having a little time away from the kids and Victor was wonderful and she only hoped that this was the first step to getting their marriage back on track again. "We should do this more often." _

"_Yeah." Martin agreed. "I think we definitely should." Once he got over his initial concern of leaving his father alone in the house he actually had a great time. Up until now he hadn't realized just how much he had missed spending time alone with Sam. _

"_Really?" Her eyes lit up at the prospect of more nights like this one. _

"_Absolutely." He assured her, leaning in to kiss her. _

"_You know I'm going to hold you to that." She warned. _

"_I'm counting on it." He grinned, kissing her again. _

"_Maybe we should go inside instead of making out on the front porch like a couple of teenagers." She suggested. _

_He sighed, knowing she was right. "Yeah, let's go." _

_She smiled and unlocked the door, entering and throwing her keys onto the nearby table. _

_He kept his arms wrapped around her waist the entire time, following her inside and kicking the door shut with his leg. "I'm going to go check on my father."_

"_Of course you are." She mumbled softly. She wondered how long it would take him once they were back in the house to become his father's man servant again. Checking the clock she saw it only took forty-five seconds. _

"_Why don't you go upstairs and get out of that dress? I'll be up in a couple of minutes." _

_She leaned in for another kiss. "Only a couple of minutes?" _

"_I promise." He assured her. _

"_Ok." She could deal with that. After all, she had managed to get him out of the house and away from Victor for a few hours. It was only natural that he would want to check on him now. _

"_I'll be right up." He told her as he headed towards his father's bedroom. He softly knocked on the door and when he didn't hear any response, he opened it slightly. What he found was an empty bed. "Dad?" He checked the bathroom but found it was empty. "Dad?" _

_He heard a soft moaning sound coming from the floor on the other side of the bed and followed it to find his father lying on the carpet. "Dad!" He rushed to his side. "What happened? Did you fall or something?"_

"_Hurts." Victor whispered, motioning to his chest. _

"_Heart attack." Martin realized. They needed to get him to the hospital. There was no telling how long he'd been lying on the floor like this. There was no phone in his father's room but he didn't want to leave him alone. "Sam! Sam! Come quick!" _

_Within a few seconds, she appeared in the doorway. "What?" She saw Martin on the floor. "What's going on?" _

"_Call for an ambulance." Martin commanded. "I think he's either had or having a heart attack." _

"_Ok." She ran out to get the phone from the living room and call for paramedics. _

_Martin grabbed a hold of his father's hand. "It's ok. Everything's going to be ok. Sam's calling for help. We'll get you to the hospital." _

"_No time." Victor whispered. _

"_How long have you been like this?" _

"_Long time." Victor replied. "You weren't here for me." _

"_I know." Martin nodded. "But I'm here now and you're going to be fine. I promise." _

"_I needed you…you weren't here." Victor's voice trailed off as his eyes started to close. _

"_Dad." Martin called out to him. "C'mon! Open you eyes." But there was no response. "Open you eyes." _

"_The ambulance should be here in about five minutes." Sam told him as she rushed back into the room. She came over to where Martin was and saw that Victor had his eyes closed. "Is he…?"_

_Martin reached down to his father's throat to find a pulse. When he couldn't find one, he hung his head down. "He's gone." He started to cry. _

_Sam watched Martin, not liking the fact that he was in so much pain that she couldn't take away. She sat down next to him and wrapped her arms around him and laid her head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry." _

_She really was sorry. As much as she hated Victor at times, she didn't want him to die. She just wanted him out of her house. _

"That's a horrible way to have to find a loved one." Leslie commented once Samantha was done with her story.

"It really tore Martin up inside. He didn't say a word to me or anyone for days after it happened." Sam explained.

"He didn't say anything at all?" Leslie asked.

"No. I think he was in a state of shock." Sam replied. "I took care of all the funeral arrangements and getting transported back to New York to be buried because Martin just wasn't able to do that."

"He wasn't able to much of anything at the time. He barely ate and was only semi-conscious of everything going on around him. All he did during the funeral was sit in the front and stare at the casket."

She recalled the image of him staring at the casket. It was almost as if he thought he could bring his father back if he stared at it long enough. "It broke my heart to see him like that but no matter what I did or said he wouldn't talk. He wouldn't open up to me or anyone else."

"How long did he stay silent?" Leslie was curious.

"Close to four days." Sam replied.

"And what happened when he finally spoke?"

"We got into a big argument—maybe the worst one we've ever had." Sam told her.


	12. You Wanted Him Gone

Marriage and Family

Chapter Twelve

"What was the argument about?" Leslie asked.

"What else could it possibly be about but his father?" Sam laughed darkly.

_"Our plane leaves in five hours and we were lucky enough to get a flight without a layover. We should be back in Houston later tonight." Sam told Martin as she walked around the hotel room and finished packing the rest of their stuff. Claire and Nikolas took Rachel and Sean out to lunch to give Sam some time alone with Martin in hopes of getting him to talk._

_She looked over to where he was sitting in the chair. He was holding a newspaper, but she couldn't be sure if he was really reading it or just staring at it. "It's a nice day. Want to go for a walk around Central Park?"_

_Her question was met with silence. Sighing, she walked over to him and yanked the newspaper out of his hands. But even that didn't get him to talk. All it did was make him glare at her. "Martin, will you please talk to me? You haven't said anything in almost four days and that's not healthy."_

_He considered her words for a moment but still didn't talk._

_"I want to know what you're thinking." She told him. "I want to know what's going on in that head of yours."_

_He laughed. "I would advise you to rethink that. You don't really want to know what I'm thinking."_

_While she was ecstatic that he was talking again, she couldn't help but be confused over what he was talking about. "Why wouldn't I want to know what you're thinking?"_

_"Because you won't like it." He told her._

_"I don't care about that. Please just tell me anyway?" She asked, kneeling down next to his chair and placing a hand on his knee. "I know that you're having problems dealing with your father's death. Maybe, if you let me, I can help you."_

_"You can't help me with this." He shrugged off her attempt to help, standing up and walking over to the window._

_"Why don't you let me be the judge of that?" She asked, getting up and following him to the window. "What are you thinking about?"_

_"Ok." He relented. "If you're really that interested in knowing what I'm thinking, then I'll tell you." He turned to face her. "I'm thinking about how my father's death is all your fault."_

_"My fault?" She wasn't sure how to react to that. He was blaming her for his father's death? How could he think that? "Excuse me, but how is it my fault?"_

_"You kept insisting that we go out to dinner." He pointed out. "If we hadn't gone out we would have been there when he had his heart attack and we could have gotten him to the hospital in time."_

_"But the doctor's said that it was a massive heart attack and they weren't even sure that getting him to the hospital right when it happened would have saved him." Sam reminded him._

_"It would have saved him!" Martin yelled. "I could have saved him!"_

_"I don't think so…" She tried to put her arms around him but he pulled away from her._

_"Well I do!" Martin told her as he walked away from her. "If it hadn't been for your selfish need to go out for dinner my father would still be alive right now."_

_"My selfish need?" She asked in disbelief. "Excuse me but how is wanting to spend a few hours of alone time with my husband selfish?"_

_She knew that he was just grieving, but that still didn't give him the right to blame this on her. It wasn't like she knew Victor would have a heart attack and chose that night to go so that he would die. No, she wasn't going to take the blame for this. "You have some nerve to blame me for this."_

_"You probably wanted him to die." Martin continued. "Didn't you?"_

_"I didn't want your father to die." Sam sighed._

_"Yeah you did. Why can't you just admit it?" Martin questioned._

_"Because it's not true." Sam told him._

_"I find that hard to believe." Martin laughed. "He told me about how you would always make him feel like an afterthought and how you would tell him that you wished he would just die already because you were tired of having him around."_

_"I never said anything like that." Sam protested. Although sometimes in anger she would think that, she never once told Victor that. He must have told Martin that to cause problems between them._

_"Just drop the act. I know that you hated him." Martin told her._

_"I didn't…I just…" She didn't know what else to say to him anymore. "Why are believing him over me anyway?"_

_"Because it makes sense that you hate him." Martin pointed out. "I was even tempted to order an autopsy to make sure that there weren't any traces of poison or anything in his bloodstream."_

_"You would have had a autopsy done to make sure that I didn't poison his food or something?" She asked, getting more and more angry with him by the minute. "Are you trying to say that you think I could have killed him? That I'm capable of murder?"_

_"I'm just saying that I had thought about it to make sure." Martin told her. "The way my father talked about you…"_

_"Look, I'm sorry that your father is gone and that you're hurting. But that gives you no right to take this out on me." She told him, feeling the tears start to form in her eyes. "I have done nothing but support you this whole entire time and if you can't see that, then we have a big problem here."_

_She looked over at him to see if her words were having any kind of impact on him but he was still looking at her with a scowl._

_"I guess we have a big problem then." He told her._

_"I guess so." She replied softly, wiping away a few tears that had fallen down her cheeks._

_"I never should have listened to you and left him alone." Martin shook his head. "I shouldn't have allowed you to convince me it would be a good idea."_

_"It's not like I planned this to happen. I didn't know that he would have a heart attack." She defended herself._

_"Maybe not, but you were probably praying for it to happen. Right?"_

_Sam shook her head. "You should know me better than that. I would never pray for someone to die."_

_"You wanted him out of the house though, right?" Martin questioned. "You wanted him out of your life."_

_"I…" She didn't want to lie, but there were times when finding a way to get Victor out of her life was the only thought that kept her sane._

_"Admit it!" He pressed on. "There's a part of you that is overjoyed that he's dead and gone. You're happy about his death, aren't you?"_

_"I'm not happy about his death." Sam protested. "But don't expect me to mourn him the way you do. Don't expect me to cry into my pillow at night lamenting the loss of Victor Fitzgerald. He wasn't my father and he wasn't my friend either."_

_She could see that continuing this conversation any longer would only make things even worse—if that was possible. She had to get out of the room before she either completely fell apart or did something that she would regret later. She went over to the desk and picking up her purse._

_"I need to get out of here for a while." Without another word she left the hotel room to go walk around, still unable to believe that he just blamed her for his father's death._

"Oh my." Leslie sighed. "Was he really serious about blaming you?"

"Yeah. He was serious about it." Sam nodded. "We didn't talk to each other in more than short fragments for almost a month after that fight."

"Why did you let it go on that long?" Leslie questioned.

"Well I know that I let it continue because I was afraid of what he'd say next." Sam admitted. "He had already basically blamed me for his father's death. What was next? The only thing that could have hurt me more was if he said that he was leaving, and I didn't want to give him a chance to say that."

"You thought he would leave you?" Leslie asked.

"Yeah." Sam nodded.

"And what about now? Do you still think Martin will leave you?"

"I'd like to think he wouldn't." Sam shrugged.

"But there's still a part of you that thinks it's a possibility?" Leslie guessed.

"Isn't it always a possibility?" Sam chuckled.

"Yes, I suppose it is." Leslie agreed. "But has he shown any signs that he may be thinking about it?"

"I don't know." Sam shrugged. "I've been staying with Claire for the past three months and we haven't talked to each other much. I don't know what he's thinking about."

"Maybe you should find out." Leslie suggested. "I realize you're afraid of finding out that he wants to leave, but not knowing is worse."

"You're probably right." Sam admitted. Before that phone call to Martin where he had told her that he missed her and loved her, she wasn't sure she was going to have a marriage to come home to.

It was odd how one short phone call could install so much hope in her heart, but it did. Maybe she was reading too much into it, but to her it meant that maybe they weren't a hopeless case after all. Maybe there was a way to rebuild again.


	13. I Wasn't Myself Then

Marriage and Family

Chapter Thirteen

"You mentioned that you and Martin didn't really speak for almost a month." Leslie pointed out. "What happened when you two finally talked?"

"Well…it was awkward…" Sam replied, thinking back to that rainy Saturday evening.

_Sam milled around the kitchen, not really doing anything. The dishes from dinner were done and she didn't have anything else to do. Normally she would find Martin and try to get him to watch television with her or something, but since his father's death they had been avoiding each other. Maybe that was for the best. The last thing she wanted to do was have another fight like the one in the hotel room while they were in New York. _

_But as much as she wanted to avoid having another one of those fights, she knew that not talking wasn't going to help either of them. Although she was still mad at him for blaming her and thought he went too far in his accusations, she could at least see why he would draw that conclusion._

_He was hurting, mourning the loss of his last surviving parent and while that doesn't necessarily give him the right to place the blame on her shoulders, avoiding him out of anger wasn't going to solve their problems. _

_After dinner he had gone off to do something, but what that was she didn't know. She hadn't heard the garage door open so she knew that he hadn't left. She wondered what he was doing and whether or not she should go try to find him._

_Curiosity got the better of her though and she soon found herself searching the house for Martin. She found him in the first place that she looked—his father's room. He was taking his father's clothes from the closet and packing them up in boxes. He seemed not to notice that she was standing in the doorway._

_After watching him for a few minutes she left and headed back to the kitchen, returning a few moments later with two glasses of wine. She hesitantly entered the room and held out a glass towards him._

_Without a word he took the glass and sat down on the edge of the bed, sipping the glass occasionally and staring at the half-empty closet._

_Sam wasn't sure what to do now and decided that she would just leave the room to let him have some time alone. She turned to leave when she heard Martin call out her name._

_"Sam?"_

_Turning around, she nervously tapped her fingers on the glass. "Yeah?"_

_"Thanks." He pointed to the wine._

_"You're welcome." She started to leave the room again._

_"Sam?"_

_She turned around to face him again. "Yeah?"_

_He moved some clothes around so that there was an empty space next to him on the bed. "Wanna sit down for a moment?"_

_She thought about it and wasn't sure if she really wanted to. She wasn't in the mood for a fight tonight, but he didn't seem like he wanted to fight. He had taken the wine she presented as a peace-offering gesture. Maybe his invitation was a peace-offering gesture of his own._

_She nodded before walking over to the edge of the bed and sitting down next to him, making sure that she wasn't pressed up against him to close. She didn't want to crowd his space._

_They sat together in silence for a while, drinking their wine and getting lost in their own thoughts._

_Finally, Sam couldn't take the silence anymore. "What are you doing with his clothes?" She asked softly._

_"Packing them all up. I thought we could give them to a charity or shelter or something." Martin replied, his voice staying the same low volume that Sam's had. "I figured we don't have any use for them now. Might as well try and help someone else."_

_"It's a good idea." She said, moving to take a drink of her wine only to find that her glass was empty. She looked over at Martin and saw that his was empty too. "Do you want more wine?"_

_"Not really." He shook his head._

_She reached for his glass so that she could take both of their glasses back to the kitchen but was caught off guard when he grabbed a hold of her hand._

_"Wait." He asked._

_"Are you not done with your glass?" She asked, confused. The glass was empty so why did he want her to wait?_

_"It's not about the glass." He told her. "I just don't want you to go yet. I was hoping you could stay."_

_"Oh." She wasn't expecting that and looked down at their joined hands. Once the surprise of him wanting her around wore off, she removed her hand from his grasp and moved it to her glass. While she waited for him to say something else, her fingers lightly traced the rim of the glass._

_He placed the empty glass on the floor next to a box. A few moments later, he spoke again. "I hate the fact that there's this distance between us now."_

_"It's your fault. You're the one that started it." She reminded him, keeping her eyes fixated on the glass._

_"I know." He nodded. "And I was wrong. I'm not sure if there are any words to describe just how sorry I am about what I've said to you."_

_She could hear from his tone of voice that he was genuinely sorry and thought for a moment that she heard a twinge of shame coming through also. In a small voice, she said, "you really hurt me."_

_"I know."_

_"You practically accused me of murdering your father." She pointed out._

_He winced at the memory of that. He really shouldn't have said those things to her but in the heat of the moment words came out of his mouth before he had a chance to filter them. That wasn't really a valid excuse for what he said though. If he could have one wish it would be to take that whole conversation back and make it never happen._

_As soon as she had left the hotel room that day, he had realized how wrong he was to say those things to her. He thought about running after her and apologizing right then, but he was too embarrassed and ashamed. He just stayed frozen in his spot and waited for her to come back._

_She never came back to the hotel room though. Apparently she had called Claire and asked her to tell him to bring her suitcase with him when he came to the airport. She met us him there and gave him his ticket, not saying anything to him the entire time._

_As more and more time passed without them speaking to each other, the harder and harder it got for him to find the courage to apologize. He grew more and more terrified that she would leave him because of the things he had said to her._

_"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to accuse you of all that stuff. I wasn't really myself that day." He continued on. "I know it's no excuse, but I was just so angry with myself."_

_She was confused by his statement. "Why yourself?" She asked softly._

_"Because I didn't save him. I let him die."_

_"You didn't let him die." She told him, putting her glass on the floor and letting her arm wrap around his shoulder. She was surprised that he didn't pull away from her like she thought he would._

_"But I wasn't there." Martin argued. "I wasn't there the one time he really needed me."_

_"You were there for him every time he called you for the past four years." She pointed out. "That's what should count. That's what you should focus on, not that one night."_

_"It's not what counts though Sam." He protested. "It's not what counted to him."_

_She didn't know what to say to him that wouldn't start another fight. She wanted to tell him that he shouldn't care about what his father thought so much, but knew that would only lead to another conversation where he accused her of hating his father. So she stayed quiet and decided to let him be the one to do most of the talking._

_"I tried so hard to be there for him these past few years to maybe show him that I wasn't the failure that he always thought I was. I brought him here to live with us so that maybe he could see how great my life is. He'd see firsthand what a good family I had and how good I was at my job. And then he'd had to admit that I turned out better than he thought I would."_

_He sighed, leaning forward and putting his head in his hands. "I really thought that I could show him that and prove it to him. At times I thought that I had. I thought that I had finally forged some kind of good father-son relationship with him and that he acknowledged me as something other than a disappointment and a failure."_

_"He did." Sam interjected, causing him to look over at her. She wasn't going to get involved in this conversation but felt the need to say this to him. "Do you know how many times he would talk about how wonderful his son was? He'd constantly tell anyone that would listen how great to him and how proud he was of you."_

_"Really?" Martin asked, finding that a little hard to believe. His father never told him that to his face and he never heard him tell anyone else about it either._

_"Really." She assured him. "That was one of his favorite topics when you weren't around. You were like a saint to him."_

_"Well that doesn't matter because it all disappeared that night." Martin shook his head. "He said, 'I needed you…you weren't there for me'. And the look in his eye said everything. He was mad and disappointed. He trusted me and I let him down."_

_"You didn't let him down." Sam told him. "He was old Martin, and his health was fading. If he didn't die that night, he would have died another night. You couldn't have stopped his death."_

_"But…"_

_"No buts." She interrupted. "Whether you want to believe me or not, this wasn't your fault."_

_He was silent for a few moments before he reached over and grabbed a hold of her hand again. Only this time, he held it tightly in an effort to keep her from pulling away. "I really am so sorry. I never meant to…"_

_"It's ok." She told him, giving him a small smile._

_"No it's not." He shook his head. "It's not ok Sam. I had no right to say those things to you. Do you think you can ever forgive me?"_

_She looked into his eyes and saw that he was being sincere. He really seemed to feel terrible about what had happened between them. While she was still mad at him for everything that he had said, she didn't want to fight with him anymore and just wanted everything to go back to the way they were before Victor moved into the house._

_After thinking about his apology for a moment, she slowly nodded her head to show that she could forgive him. That prompted him to smile and bring her into a tight hug._

_He kissed her neck while they hugged. "I love you so much Sam."_

_"I love you too Martin."_

"After that night, things were kind of better. We were at least talking to each other more, but it was usually only about the children or work. I think we ignored what had happened because we thought if we ignored it, it would go away and be erased from history."

"You do know that won't help things, right?" Leslie asked.

"Yeah." Sam nodded. "But it was much easier to just ignore it. Of course now there's this gap between us and I'm not sure how to fix it anymore."

"Well you're here asking for my help." Leslie pointed out. "That's a good first step."


	14. Rachel's Call

Marriage and Family

Chapter Fourteen

Martin shut the journal and placed it on the coffee table, unable to read anymore right now. During the past couple of days he had done nothing except read through Sam's journals, finally reaching the fifth and last one.

Reading the journals had been an eye-opening experience for him as he got to find out a lot of the feelings and thoughts that Sam had been hiding from him. But the sad part was that she wasn't really hiding them from him. After reading about the four years and what she had been going through, he could see just how oblivious he really had been.

Thinking back upon the past few years he could see the sadness and pain that was etched on her face. He remembered times when he thought he saw a flicker of anger flash across her face, but he always attributed it to hormones or just having a bad day. He never knew that the inside of her heart and mind was a hurricane of such raw emotions.

When the phone rang, he debated whether or not to answer it. A part of him just wanted to isolate himself for a while and ponder how he could have let himself be so blind to Sam's plight. But he realized that he should probably answer the phone. The call could be about something important.

"Hello?" He greeted.

"Hey daddy!" Rachel's enthusiastic voice came through.

"Hey Ray." He smiled, using the nickname that he had given her when she was really young. "What's up?"

"Not much." Rachel replied. "Is mom there?"

"No, she's not." Martin answered.

"I thought she was coming home once Nikolas came back." Rachel was confused. Nikolas was supposed to come home a few days ago, right?

"She was, but then she decided to go visit your Uncle Danny and Aunt Michelle." Martin explained.

"Oh." There was a short silence on the phone. "Do you know when she'll be back?"

"She's supposed to be coming back in a couple of days." Martin answered. "Why? Do you need something?"

"No…" Rachel replied. "Well, actually I just wanted to talk to her about something. But I guess it can wait a while."

"You could talk to me." Martin told her. Although Rachel seemed to have a better relationship with her mother, his relationship with Rachel was fairly strong. He liked to think that she felt like she could come to him with her problems.

"I…" She stalled, not knowing how to say this without hurting his feelings. "I don't know…"

"You know that you can talk to me about anything, right?" He wanted to make sure that she knew that.

"I know that daddy." She assured him. "It's just that this is more of a 'mom' situation than a 'dad' situation. I need a woman's opinion and unfortunately you can't give me that."

"No," he laughed, "I can't. But can you at least tell me if it's anything serious? Should I be worried?"

"No." Rachel replied. "You don't need to worry about me."

"You aren't in any kind of trouble, are you?" He questioned, wanting to make sure that she was ok.

"No, not really." She answered.

"What does not really mean?" He asked, confused. "Either you're in trouble or you're not."

"Ok, then I'm not." She laughed. The last thing she wanted to do was discuss this with her father. She wanted to talk about it with her mom first before approaching him about it. She realized that she had to change the subject.

"So how are you doing daddy?" She asked, hoping to shift the focus from her life to his.

"I'm fine." He answered, aware that she was trying to shift the focus away from herself. Because he didn't want to force her into telling him anything that she wasn't ready to tell him, he didn't call her on it.

"Are you looking forward to having mom back in the house?" She knew that mom had been away for over three months now and that was the longest stretch of time that she had ever seen her parents be away from each other. Although something instinctively told her that maybe this time away would help their marriage.

Things had been tense at home for the longest time, and it had been a long while since Rachel had seen her parents truly happy with each other. As much as she hated to admit it, things seemed to turn sour once Grandpa Victor moved in.

That's when the tension started to build between her parents. That's when her mom started getting really stressed out. That's when her father stated turning a blind eye to what was happening with his family.

She loved her Grandpa Victor, and so did Sean and Claire. They all thought that he was a good grandfather. He would give them money on their birthdays and Christmas, and he was always willing to share advice that he had compiled during his life. They respected him and thought he was a good guy.

However, their opinion about him changed once he moved in. They saw the way he treated their mother and had front row seats to the manipulative nature of their grandpa. Whether he was always that way and they hadn't noticed or if old age had just made him a miserable old man, they weren't sure.

By the second month after he moved in, they no longer respected him and they saw through the façade of being a good guy that he tried to hard to project around them.

When Grandpa Victor died, they all thought that things between their parents would finally get better. They had hoped that since the tyranny of Grandpa Victor was gone, their parents could start focusing on each other again.

But those hopes were soon dashed once they realized that something wasn't right. Something had snapped between them. The tightrope that their marriage was dangling on started to unravel, sending them into an abyss of the unknown.

They all saw it. Sean, Claire and herself all saw the trouble looming ahead. It was one of the reasons why Claire was so enthusiastic about having their mother come and stay with her for a while. She figured that she could get her to open up and then maybe they could help their parents.

That didn't work very well though because their mother was a very private person and didn't want to 'burden' her children with her problems. They had been helping her deal with Grandpa Victor's emotional abuse for years, cracking jokes around her when the stress seemed to much and trying to help her in whatever way they could. But even now, she still didn't want to involve them in her troubles.

She had talked with Sean about the problems their parents were having many times in the past few months and they always ended up arguing about how serious they thought the problems were. Sean always seemed to think that their parents would end up getting divorced, while she didn't think so.

She refused to believe that her parents would just throw away their marriage like that. They had spent so much time making a life together. They were her primary model of a marriage. Maybe it was a childish view, but her parents wouldn't get divorced. They just couldn't.

"I am." Martin replied sadly. "I've missed your mom a lot."

"I bet." Rachel nodded. "She's been gone for a long time."

"Yeah. Too long."

"Do you have anything special planned for when she comes home?" Rachel asked, hoping that her father was finally going to shower her mother with attention and love. She believed that a lot of their problems could be solved if he would just pay her more attention.

"I'm sure that it would mean a lot to her if you did something special for her to let her know that you missed her."

"I have been thinking about it." Martin told his daughter. Ever since reading the journals he realized that he needed to show Sam how much she meant to him before it was too late and she decided to leave him. Because as much as he hated to admit it, he wasn't sure why she hadn't left him already. God knows she has had many reasons to give up on him.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure." She replied. "Ask away."

Well since he had been reading her journals and thinking about the past, he couldn't remember the last time that he saw Sam happy—really happy. Sure she had smiled a lot, but when he thought about it carefully, he realized that they weren't genuine Samantha smiles. They were fake ones, designed to throw him off and make him believe that everything was fine, when in reality, everything was slowly falling apart.

"Do you think your mother is happy?"

"Happy?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah, happy." Martin repeated.

"No dad. I don't." She was surprised by his question, but in a good way. Maybe it meant that he was finally seeing what everyone else was seeing. "She hasn't been happy for a long time."

"How long have you noticed it?" He asked, wanting to see if his suspicions about Sam's unhappiness starting once he moved his father into the house were true.

"Sorry dad, I don't want to be the one to have to break this to you, but it started once Grandpa Victor came to stay with us."

"I thought so." He sighed. "Do you think it was a bad idea to bring him into our house?"

She was silent for a moment, not sure if she should tell him the truth or sugar coat it. "Let's just say that it definitely wasn't one of your better ideas."

"I thought so." He sighed. He didn't want to continue talking about that though and switched topics again. "But speaking of ideas, I think I've come up with some good ideas for when your mother comes home."

"Like what?" Rachel asked, eager to hear what those good ideas were.

"I'm not telling." He laughed. "It's a surprise."

"Yeah a surprise for her, not me!" Rachel exclaimed. "C'mon dad! Please tell me? I promise not to tell her."

"No offense sweetie, but you aren't the best at keeping secrets." He told her. "Remember that surprise birthday party we wanted to throw your mother? You told her about it a week before her birthday."

"Are you going to throw that in my face my entire life?" Rachel groaned.

"Well that is the current plan." He teased.

"I was only four!" Rachel exclaimed. "You can't expect a four year old to keep a secret like that."

"Ok, how about when you were eight and you told your mother what I was getting her for Christmas?" Martin pointed out.

Rachel laughed. "Well if all you're going to do is point out times when I have let secrets slip out, then I will let you get back to whatever you're doing. I should probably get going anyway."

"Ok." He would've liked to talk to her for a little bit longer but realized that she probably had a very busy life. He knew that he did when he was her age and the last thing he wanted to do when he was in college was talk to his parents. "Love you Ray."

"Love you too daddy. Talk to you soon."


	15. Are You Still Mad?

Marriage and Family

Chapter Fifteen

"Have you really forgiven him for everything that he said to you?" Leslie asked, taking a good look at Samantha's demeanor. "For everything that he accused you of?"

"Well…yeah." She replied, fidgeting around in her seat.

"That's not a very convincing answer Samantha." Leslie pointed out.

"It's the only answer I have though." Sam told her.

Leslie suspected that there was a good possibility that Samantha hadn't fully forgiven him for that incident. Whether or not Samantha was aware of it though, she couldn't say for certain.

"You know, he also forgot our anniversary." Sam mentioned.

"He forgot it?" Leslie questioned.

"Yeah." Sam nodded. "It took him two days to figure out that he had forgotten it."

"And how did that make you feel?" Leslie asked, already figuring out what Sam was going to say.

"It made me feel like I'm still not number one on his priority list yet. I mean I had dealt with the fact that Victor was going to be Martin's first priority. I didn't like it and I didn't agree with it, but I accepted it. Now though, Victor's gone. And I'm still not number one on Martin's priority list."

She sighed. "What do I have to do to get him to love me the way he used to? What do I have to do to get him to notice me? Dance naked in the street?"

"I'm not sure that you have to do something that drastic." Leslie chuckled.

"I wouldn't be so sure." Sam laughed.

"So you say that it took him two days to remember your anniversary." Leslie wanted to get back to talking about that incident. "What happened then? Did you two fight about it?"

"Of course we did." Sam told her. "I was really mad at him for forgetting." After a few moments of silence, she added, "I'm still mad at him for that."

"Did he apologize for it?"

"Yes." Sam nodded.

"Did he seem sincere about his apology for forgetting?" Leslie questioned.

"Yes, I think he was being sincere." Sam answered, thinking back to that morning. "He seemed to feel really bad about it and wanted to try and make it up to me by taking me out to dinner."

"Did you accept his apology and go out to dinner?" Leslie asked.

"No, not exactly." Sam shook her head.

"What happened then?"

"I started an argument with him and somehow we ended up fighting about his father again." Sam admitted.

"I see." Leslie nodded. Her suspicions were coming true. "Why do you think you ended up fighting about his father again?"

"I don't know." Sam shrugged. "It just happened."

"And why do you think you're still mad at him for forgetting?" Leslie asked. "I know my husband has forgotten before, and it can hurt our feelings and wounds our pride. But is there a possibility that you weren't necessarily mad about that?"

"What else would I have been mad about?" Sam asked confused by what Leslie was asking her.

"Is there a possibility that maybe you are still mad at Martin for all the things he said to you while you were in New York and that this anniversary incident was just something that you used to express that anger? Is it possible that you're afraid to show anger about that incident so when he forgot your anniversary you made it into a big deal and let out your anger under the guise of being mad for forgetting the anniversary?"

"I don't know." Sam shrugged. To be honest she hadn't thought about it like that. But Leslie was making some sense.

"It seems to me that you are afraid to let Martin know that you haven't completely forgiven him for what he said to you." Leslie wasn't 100 sure that she was right, but her instincts told her she was. "Is that true?"

Sam was quiet for a moment, staring at the floor and becoming mesmerized by the pattern of the carpet. "I guess…yes. I may be slightly hesitant to tell Martin."

"Why is that?" Leslie questioned.

"Well, when he apologized, it seemed like he really needed me to forgive him. There was this intense look in his eyes that told me he needed forgiveness like he needed oxygen to breathe." She would never forget the look in his eyes when they were sitting together that night. "It was so important to him that I didn't want to let him down. I didn't want to fight anymore."

"So you told him you forgave him when in reality you actually hadn't?" Leslie guessed.

"I wanted to." She answered. "I still want to. But I guess I just am not sure how. I mean, I've put up with a lot lately and that was just almost like the last straw. I'm fed up with it…all of it. I don't think I can take much more. I'm not happy anymore, but even though I'm not happy, I can't leave him."

"And why can't you leave?" Leslie asked. "It sounds like you haven't been happy with him for a very long time. What keeps you there?"

"I love him too much." She replied sadly. "And sometimes I just get so angry with him that I wish I didn't love him anymore. Sometimes I think that if I didn't love him everything would be better. I would just leave and then the drama would be over."

"Believe me, I've thought about leaving before. I've thought about where I would go and what I would tell him and the children. There was one time that I even had a bag packed and everything." She paused for a moment. "But then I look at him or I think about the good times that we've had and I just can't do it. No matter what happens between us, I don't think I'll ever be able to leave him."

"I think what you need to do is let him know how you're feeling." Leslie advised. "I think that it would help both of you to talk about what's been going on since Victor first moved in."

Sam had a feeling that would be Leslie's recommendation. "I've kept some private journals for the past few years, ever since Victor started staying with us. Now most of the entries are filled with ranting and ravings of me when I was angry or upset about something, but do you think that it might help if I let Martin read some of the entries?"

"He doesn't even know that the journals exist. I've never showed them to him before." Sam explained. "I just thought that maybe showing him would be easier than trying to tell him everything."

"It might." Leslie nodded. "I think it depends on what entries you show him. I would try to avoid any entries that you made in the heat of the moment and any entries that contain things you don't want him to know."

"Definitely!" Sam chuckled. "He probably wouldn't be able to handle it if he read all of them cover to cover."

"That seems like a good idea Samantha, as long as you two end up talking about what you show him. I think the journals could be a good way of opening up a dialogue for the two of you." Leslie smiled.

"You and Martin have always had a problem with initiating communication. Once you get started though, you're unstoppable!" Her comment elicited a small chuckle from Samantha, which was her intention. She wanted to lighten up the mood slightly.

"I know I asked you this a long time ago, but do you think Martin and I are doomed?" Sam asked.

"Doomed?" Leslie questioned. "No. You're not doomed. Troubled, but not doomed. I truly believe that with a lot of communication, you can overcome the problems you have right now."

"I don't think I can ever thank you enough for listening to me for the past two hours." Sam smiled.

"The only thing I ask in return is that you take what we've talked about here and apply it once you get back home. Talk to Martin. Share your feelings. Make him listen to you and be sure to listen to him when he speaks. Do you think you can do that?"

"It's not going to be easy, but I guess that we need to do that in order to make any kind of progress." Sam sighed. "Thank you Leslie."

"Anytime." Leslie smiled. "You know you can count on me to help in any way I can."

"And Martin and I really appreciate that." Sam smiled back. "But if you'll excuse me, I have somewhere I need to go."

"Oh really? Where would that be?" Leslie asked out of pure curiosity.

"Home." Sam replied.


	16. Going Home

Marriage and Family

Chapter Sixteen

Sam sat in her seat on the plane, waiting for it to stop circling the airport and just land already. She was impatient to get back home. While she was waiting, she thought back to her earlier conversation with Danny as he drove her to the airport.

_"Are you sure that I can't convince you to stay until tomorrow morning?" Danny asked, turning onto the freeway. "I feel like we haven't gotten a chance to really spend much time together during your visit."_

"_I know, and I'm sorry about that." Sam apologized. "I really am. I'll make it up to you next time but I feel like I need to go home. I've been away too long as it is." _

"_I won't disagree with that." Danny laughed. "But you won't begrudge me one more selfish attempt to get to you stay, will you?" _

"_Never." She smiled. "I'd actually be insulted if you didn't try and get me to stay." _

"_So do you think that you and Martin will be able to work through your problems?" He hated bringing this topic up, but was curious. _

"_I hope so." Sam nodded. "We've made it this long."_

"_You nervous about going back?" He asked, noticing that she was tapping her fingers on the dashboard and biting her lip._

"_Does it show?" She asked with a laugh as she noticed the incessant taping of her fingers. She stopped tapping and clasped her hands together tightly. _

"_Only a little." He smiled. _

"_I guess it's not really nervousness." She explained. "I just haven't seen him in so long and…ok, yeah I guess it is nervousness." _

"_Is he picking you up from the airport?" _

"_I'm not sure." Sam admitted._

"_Didn't you call him and tell him that you're coming home early?" Danny questioned. Surely she wouldn't have forgotten to do that, right?_

"_No, I didn't." Sam replied. "But we've always had this unspoken rule between us. If one of us leaves for a trip without the other, we always end up coming back earlier than we said we would. Martin started it by trying to surprise me when we were having our break all those years ago."_

"_He did surprise me by coming home early the first time, but after that, I caught on to it and it just sort of developed into this thing that we do. We don't even tell each other that we're coming early. We're just supposed to know instinctively."_

"_So you're testing him?" Danny asked. _

_Sam looked over at him. "I am not testing him." Ok, so maybe she was testing him, but so what?_

"_Ok. Call it whatever you want to call it, but it sounds like you're testing him. You're expecting him to know that you're coming early. What if he's not there to pick you up when your plane lands? What are you going to do then?" _

"_I don't know." Sam admitted. "It hadn't crossed my mind that he wouldn't be there. I guess it might be naïve but I'd like to think that no matter what's going on between us, he would still remember our unspoken pact." _

"_And if he doesn't?" Danny pressed on. "What then?" _

"_Then I guess I'll have to either call him to pick me up or get a cab." Sam explained. _

Martin would be there. She just knew it. He had to be there. She refused to believe that he wouldn't remember.

Of course he had forgotten their anniversary, and he wasn't exactly the most attentive husband in the world right now. Maybe she had to prepare herself for the fact that Martin may not show up at the airport. And if he didn't, what was she going to do?

Was she going to get mad at him? Did she have a right to get mad at him? After all, this was something that they hadn't explicitly discussed. But on the other hand, it was something that they had been doing for almost twenty years.

No, she would believe in Martin. He would be there waiting for her.

About a half hour later, the plane finally stopped circling the airport and was granted permission to land. The plane wasn't too full and it didn't take her long to get off of the plane and down to the baggage claim area.

Her eyes scanned the baggage claim area closely, looking for any sign of Martin. But the only people crowded around were the people who had been on the plane with her. Her expectant smile slowly faded with the realization that he wasn't here. He wasn't coming.

He must have forgotten about their unspoken pact, or else he would have been here to greet her. There was a younger couple nearby that was reuniting. Sam couldn't take her eyes off of them.

It looked like the man was the one coming home and the woman had immediately run over to him and wrapped her arms around him, planting kisses all over his face. Not wanting to be caught staring at them, she turned her attention to the baggage carousel.

Maybe it was a bad idea to come back early instead of tomorrow, like she had told Martin she would. But after talking with Leslie, she had just been so enthusiastic about coming home and trying to work things out with Martin. She was sure that he would be here to greet her like the wife of the man nearby had.

Their reunion probably wouldn't involve tons of hugging and kissing, but just his presence here was all that she wanted. Being able to see him, smell that familiar 'Martin' scent, and look into those eyes that had haunted her dreams for the past few months would be enough for her.

But alas, that apparently wasn't going to happen. Should she call him and ask him to come pick her up? That would require him driving all the way over here and she'd have to wait in an airport bar for him. She could do that, but didn't really relish the idea of sitting alone in an airport bar at night.

So it looked like she was going to have to get a cab and just surprise him at home. She briefly wondered if he would even be home when she got there. Checking her watch, she saw that it was almost ten.

She had no idea what he had been doing with his time since she left. Had he been going out with friends more often? Had he been going out with other women? She wanted to dismiss that last thought completely. She didn't want to believe that he would do something like that but had to admit that it was a possibility.

Checking the baggage carousel again, she noticed that bags were starting to appear. She scanned the bags coming around but didn't see hers yet. Her mind must have been a million miles away because when she heard a familiar voice whispering in her ear, she jumped in surprise.

"Hey there. Need a ride home?" Martin's voice whispered into her ear. He had intentionally used the same words that Sam had used with him when she surprised him at the airport all those years ago.

Sam was shocked to turn around and see Martin standing right behind her. "Martin."

"Hey that's good." He smiled. "You still recognize me. For a moment there I was worried."

He was joking with her and he seemed to be in a good mood. That was surprising—almost as surprising as seeing him here. When she had looked around for him earlier she couldn't see him and had all but given up hope that he was coming. But here he was. He didn't let her down after all.

He brought the hand that he had been holding behind his back out and revealed a red rose. "I brought this for you." He handed it to her, nervous about her reaction to that.

When he first realized that she might be coming home early because that's the way all of their other solo trips usually ended, he frantically called the airport and checked to see if she had booked a flight. Luckily he had found out in plenty of time to get to the airport.

But once he was here, he realized that it would be nicer if he didn't come to pick her up empty handed. It might show her that he really did miss her if he brought her something, like a red rose. So he walked around the airport looking for a shop that sold flowers.

After walking around for about an hour, he finally found a shop that had what he was looking for. But then he looked at his watch and saw that it was getting late and Sam was probably already at the baggage claim looking for him. So he hurried over here.

As he approached though, he was frozen in place. Although he only saw her from behind, she looked wonderful, just like always. Taking a deep breath, he had to remind himself to calm down. But just being in the same room with her again was making him nervous.

He didn't want to say or do the wrong thing and make her mad at him only minutes after she returned home. So he stood there for a moment, contemplating exactly what he was going to say to her for a few minutes before going over and approaching her.

She took the rose, bringing it up to her nose so that she could inhale the sweet scent and trying to remember the last time that he had given her any kind of flower. Unfortunately she couldn't remember. It had been that long. "Thank you."

He gave her a small smile. "Sorry I wasn't here earlier. It's really hard to find flowers in this airport."

"I have to admit that I thought you might have forgotten about our unspoken agreement." She admitted, staring at the rose.

"I didn't." He told her. "I wouldn't."

"I can see that." She smiled, looking up at him and taking a good, long look. He looked exactly the same as he did when she left, only there were a few more dark circles under his eyes. She wondered if he had been getting enough sleep lately.

He looked past her for a moment, glancing at the baggage carousel and seeing her suitcase. "I'll get your bag and then we can go home."

"Ok." She watched him get her suitcase and wondered what was going on. He seemed different—a good different. But still different. She would ask him about it, but right now all she really wanted to do was go home and sleep in their bed again.

Although the beds at Claire's and Danny's were comfortable, their bed was still the best that she had ever slept in. Maybe part of the reason was because of the other occupant. A small smile played on her lips as she realized that she wouldn't have to sleep in a big bed alone tonight.

"You ready?" Martin asked her as he came over to her, rolling her suitcase along behind him.

"Yeah. Let's go." She replied, surprised yet again when Martin grabbed her hand while they were walking out of the airport. They hadn't held hands like that in…years. This was an odd development that she made a mental note to ask him about later.


	17. Let's Spend The Day Together

Marriage and Family

Chapter Seventeen

When Sam woke up the next morning, she rolled over and found that Martin's side of the bed was empty. She couldn't help but frown at that until she started to smell the delicious scent of his cooking wafting up from the kitchen.

At first she had thought that maybe he had gone somewhere this morning, but he was just making breakfast instead. The thought of him making breakfast for her made her smile. She wasn't expecting that but it was a welcome treat. Grabbing her robe and slipping it on, she headed down to the kitchen.

"Morning." She greeted softly, entering the kitchen and heading for the coffee.

He looked at her and smiled putting down the spatula he was using and walking over to her. "Good morning." He kissed her temple before returning to the stove.

She was surprised by the kiss. He hadn't kissed her in the morning for a long time. Something was definitely going on. He was almost acting too nice to her and it making her think that something was wrong.

There was a dramatic shift in him that she could see. He seemed like he was happier, and he was being more attentive to her. What was the cause behind this change in behavior? Was it something that she should be worried about?

"How did you sleep?" He asked, flipping over a piece of bacon that he was frying.

"Really well actually." She told him, grabbing her coffee and leaning against the counter. "That bed is by far the most comfortable one I've ever slept in."

"It is pretty nice." He agreed. "How was the one at Claire's?"

"Fine I guess." She shrugged. "I guess it's just nice to be back in my own bed again."

"You have been away for a long time." He noted.

"Yeah." Sam nodded.

"Oh, before I forget, Rachel called yesterday looking for you. I think she wanted to get your advice on something. I tried to help her, but she said it was more of a 'mom' situation."

Sam laughed and walked closer to the stove to see what Martin was cooking. It looked like they were having bacon, eggs, and French toast. "That means it probably has to do with a guy."

"I was afraid of that." Martin sighed. "Is it too late to lock her up in her room and keep all guys away from her?

She lightly swatted his arm. "Yes it is, and come on! We've never had any major problems with our daughters when it comes to boys."

"We have been rather lucky that Claire married her first boyfriend and Rachel was never a boy-crazy teenager." He reasoned.

"Was it really important that she talk to me?" She asked, wanting to know if she should call her back right now or wait until later.

"I don't think so. She didn't say anything about it being urgent." Martin shook his head.

"I'll call her later today then and see what's going on." She took another drink of her coffee.

"What else are you doing today?" Martin asked casually, trying to make sure that his question didn't come out as an interrogation.

She shrugged. "Probably just unpacking and catching up on some e-mails that I'm sure have piled up. That'll probably take a few hours. I'll probably get some laundry done too."

"Could you maybe push back the e-mails until tomorrow?" He asked. "'Cause one more day won't really make that much difference, will it?"

"I guess not, but why do you not want me to catch up on e-mails?" She asked, suspicious about his odd behavior.

"Because I was hoping that we could spend the day together." He told her, keeping his attention centered on the food he was cooking so that he didn't have to look at her if she started laughing at him or rejected his idea.

She was silent for a moment, contemplating what he just said. He wanted to spend the day with her? Since when? What exactly was going on here? Martin was acting like a completely different person. Granted she liked this new Martin, it reminded her of the way he used to be before Victor moved in. But still, it was almost unsettling.

"Well what did you have in mind?" She finally asked.

"I was thinking that we could go out to see a movie." He suggested. "And then I thought we could go out to dinner somewhere nice."

"Where?" She asked.

"It's a surprise." He smiled.

"A surprise?" She questioned, her eyes narrowing. "Ok spill it! What's going on here?"

"What do you mean?" He asked, confused by her reaction. He thought that she would be happy that he was trying to plan surprises for her again.

"You're different." She told him, staring into her coffee cup.

"Different?" He repeated. "Different how?"

"You're just different." She replied. "The rose, the hand holding, the morning kiss, the movie idea, the whole dinner surprise thing…all of those things are stuff that you haven't done in a really long time. But here you are doing them again and I can't help but be a little suspicious about why. Did something happen while I was gone that I should know about?"

He was silent for a moment, wondering whether or not he should tell her about the fact that he read her journals and that's what inspired the change in him. He wanted to tell her about that but didn't want to make her mad at him, and he knew that if she found out he had invaded her personal journals she would be furious.

Maybe he would tell her that later, once they had managed to reconnect more and hopefully rebuild more of their relationship. But he still had to answer her question. He really didn't want to start talking about this until dinner tonight, but it looked like he didn't have a choice right now.

"Actually, yeah, something did happen while you were gone." He replied, looking over at her and seeing that she looked worried. "It wasn't bad though."

"Ok." She slowly nodded. If he said it wasn't anything bad, then she would believe him and try not to worry. "So what was it?"

"I guess you could say that I had an epiphany." Martin replied, placing their food on their plates.

"About?" She pressed him for more details.

He handed her a plate and they went over to the table to start eating. "About us…about what's been going on with us."

"Really?" She was definitely surprised by his answer. She wasn't sure what she had expected him to say, but not that.

"Yeah. I know that things between us haven't been very good for a long time and I realize that a lot of the blame falls on me." He picked up his fork and pushed his eggs around his plate. "I'm just trying to show you that I realize it and I want to do better."

She wasn't sure what to say about that. It seemed like he was being genuine about this and she had to wonder what had triggered this epiphany. Something had to have happened to slap the blinders off of his face. But what?

"So what do you say about the movie and dinner?" He asked, really hoping that she would agree. "Yes or no?"

"Yes." She replied after a few seconds of thinking about it. There was still something he wasn't telling her; she could see it in his eyes. And she was determined to find out exactly what he was hiding from her.

"Great." He smiled. Maybe there was a chance for them after all.

* * *

Sam picked up the phone later that morning and dialed Rachel's number, still in disbelief over Martin's recent behavior. 

"Hello?" Rachel answered the phone.

"Hey sweetie. How are you?" Sam greeted.

"Fine mom." Rachel answered. "How are you?"

"Good." Sam replied.

"Are you finally home now?" Rachel hoped so.

"Yeah. I got home last night." Sam explained.

"How are you and daddy getting along?"

"We're fine." Sam replied, not wanting to talk about that right now. "I hear from your father that you had something you wanted to talk to me about. Is anything wrong?"

"No." Rachel denied. "Not really wrong…it's just…you know, I'm not sure that this is something that I should be talking to you about over the phone."

"It's that important?" Sam guessed.

"I think so, yeah." Rachel replied.

"Are you in some kind of trouble?" Sam asked.

"No. I'm not in any kind of trouble. I just…" She trailed off, gathering courage to ask the next question. "Would it be ok if I came home this weekend?"

"Sweetie of course it's ok if you come home this weekend." Sam assured her daughter. "This is always going to be your home and I don't want you to ever think that you can't come home."

"Well I just wondered because you and daddy haven't have much time alone lately and I don't want to intrude…"

"Rachel, it's ok." Sam assured her. "We'd love it if you came home for a visit."

"Ok." Rachel sighed. "I just think that this is something that I should tell you in person."

"Ok." Sam nodded. "Are you sure that nothing's wrong?"

"I'm sure." Rachel answered. "Everything's fine."

"Ok. Then I guess we'll see you this weekend." Sam told her. "Call when you know what flight you are on."

"I will." Rachel said. "Thanks mom. See you soon."

"Love you sweetie."

"Love you to mom."

Once Sam hung up, she couldn't shake the feeling that Rachel was hiding something important from her. Was she pregnant? Dropping out of school? Changing her major? Wanting to change schools?

Well at least she wouldn't have to wait too long to find out. It was already Thursday. She would be here in two days. She reminded herself not to worry. Rachel was a very smart girl and she would be ok, no matter what was going on with her.

Moving away from the phone, she looked in the mirror. They were going to be leaving for the movies soon, but as she glanced at her own reflection, she felt the need to put fix her hair and put on some light makeup.


	18. Gummi Bears

Marriage and Family

Chapter Eighteen

"Do you want anything from the concession stand?" Martin offered. They had already gotten their tickets and were walking past the concession stand to get to the theater.

She looked over at him, thinking about his question for a moment before realizing what her answer was. "How about some gummi bears?"

"Gummi bears?" He grinned. That was what she had asked for the first time he took her on a date to the movies. He remembered that the movie they went to see was so bad that they just sat in the back of the theater and had a gummi bear fight.

"Yeah, gummi bears." She smiled.

"Ok." He nodded. "If you want gummi bears, then gummi bears you shall have. Do you want to go ahead and get us some seats while I get the concessions?"

"Sure." She agreed, appreciating the fact that she would have a few minutes alone to think about Martin's recent behavior. All morning and afternoon he was seemingly always at her side, asking her questions or making small talk.

Granted, she wasn't complaining that Martin seemed to want to be around her and actually talk to her. But except for the few minutes she had to herself to call Rachel, she hadn't been alone since she returned home.

At first she thought that maybe Martin just missed her so much that he didn't want to leave her side, but she wasn't so sure that was the real reason. The more and more that she thought about it, the more odd his behavior was to her.

After finding two seats near the back of the theater and sitting down, she released a heavy sigh. Although Martin had told her this morning about his epiphany, she couldn't help but wonder what had triggered it. He surely didn't just wake up one morning and stop wearing the blinders that he'd had on for the past four years.

He was doing everything that she had hoped he would do. He was giving her attention and trying to show her that she was important to him. He was doing the little things that he had stopped doing once his father moved in, like planning surprises.

Something had to have triggered this new attitude. But what? What could have enlightened him about everything? It was almost like he was reading her mind or something.

Then it hit her like a bolt of lightening. It was like he was reading her mind, but she knew that wasn't possible. However, it was possible for him to read her journals, which were an in-depth look at the inside of her mind and deepest thoughts. What if he was reading them?

She chuckled at the absurdity of that thought. He wouldn't do that. He wouldn't invade her privacy like that. Right? Of course not. Besides, he didn't even know that the journals existed. There was no way that he had read them.

That couldn't be the catalyst behind his recent change. There had to be something else.

"Gummi bear for your thoughts?" Martin joked as he sat down next to her. He had noticed that she looked deep in thought about something.

"I was just thinking about Rachel." Sam lied, not wanting him to know that she was suspicious of his recent behavior.

"Oh yeah." He nodded, handing her the box of gummi bears. "It will be nice to have her back home for a couple of days."

"Yeah." Sam agreed.

"Should we be worried about whatever it is that she has to talk to you about?"

"I don't know." Sam sighed, opening up the box of gummi bears and popping one into her mouth. "I'd like to say no, but she sounded weird when I talked to her—like she's preoccupied or something."

"I guess the only thing we can do now is hope that whatever she wants to talk to you about isn't anything bad." Martin turned to look at her. Noticing a strand of her hair had fallen loose, he reached over and tucked it back behind her ear. Then he leaned in and placed a kiss on her cheek.

She looked over at him after he did that and tried to figure out what the kiss was for. She was going to ask him, but the lights in the theater started to dim and the movie previews were starting. So she made a mental note to ask him later and focused her attention back on the screen.

* * *

"That was a good movie." Martin said as they were walking out of the theater two hours later. "What did you think?" 

"It was ok." Sam shrugged. To be honest, she didn't pay much attention to the movie. Her thoughts and focus were directed towards Martin.

"Are you almost ready for dinner?" He asked. "I thought that we could go home and get changed first."

"So for this mystery place that we're going for dinner I can't go in jeans?" She laughed.

"No." He laughed. "The dress code is a little more strict."

"I guess I can rule out McDonalds." She guessed.

"I'm not going to tell you where we're going." He informed her. "It's going to stay a surprise."

"Please?" She asked. They had walked out to their car and she quickly got inside, slamming the car door shut. "I'm not sure I can take any more surprises from you today."

"What does that mean?" Martin asked her as he got into the car and pulled out his car keys.

"It means what it means." She sighed.

"Is something wrong?"

"What could be wrong?" She asked sarcastically.

"Sam…" He put down the keys and turned in his seat to look at her. "What's this about?"

"You're making me really nervous." She admitted softly.

"Nervous?" He repeated. "How am I making you nervous?"

"I know this sounds really silly and extremely paranoid, but it's almost like you're being too nice to me." Up until now she had been staring at her clasped hands, but now she turned to look over at him.

"Don't get me wrong, I like this new change that you've gone through. But it's just so sudden. I know you said that you had some sort of an epiphany while I was gone. I guess I'm just wondering what kind of epiphany it was and what triggered it."

"I don't know what triggered it." Martin lied, not ready to admit that he had read her journals.

"Something must have triggered it. You couldn't have just woken up one morning and figured everything out." She pressed him for more answers.

"Maybe I did." Martin argued.

"Nope. Sorry. Don't believe that." She shook her head. "If you don't tell me what's changed you know my mind will create scenarios that are much worse than the truth. So please just tell me?"

He didn't want to tell her about reading her journals but knew that she was right about that. He really didn't want her to start imagining things because she had a very vivid imagination and could probably think of a lot of bad scenarios.

"Look Sam, I really missed you when you were gone and I started thinking about everything that's happened lately. I started seeing that we were slipping back into old patterns and that if we weren't careful, we could very easily end up separating."

"I don't know about you, but that's the last thing I ever want to happen." He told her, reaching out for her hand and bringing it up to his lips to place a soft kiss there. "I thought that maybe if I tried to put some more romance into our relationship and if I made more of an effort to change, it might help."

Separating was the last thing she ever wanted to happen to them also and it was nice to know that he felt the same way. There had been times over the past few years, and especially the last few months, that she wasn't so sure about his feelings. After hearing his explanation for his change she started to feel bad about questioning him.

Why should it matter to her why he was changing? Why should she make a big deal out of it? Shouldn't it just matter that he was making an effort and finally starting to see that there needed to be changes in their relationship? Couldn't that be enough for her?

He let go of her hand and picked up the car keys again, placing them in the ignition and starting the engine. Staring at his hands on the steering wheel, he sighed. "But if my new attitude is making you feel uncomfortable, I can stop…"

"Don't you dare stop." She commanded, reaching over across the car and wrapping her arms around his neck. She grinned when she saw the surprised look on his face and leaned in to kiss him. She'd show him that he wasn't the only one in this marriage who could plan surprises.

He was taken aback by the kiss so for the first few seconds he was frozen in place. Once his mind registered what was going on he responded to the kiss by wrapping his arms around her body and pulling her closer, which wasn't easy since they were in the car. But he made sure that she was as close as she could be to him without making her uncomfortable.

A few minutes later Sam pulled away, seeing from the look on Martin's face that her surprise had worked. That was most likely the last thing he had expected her to do. To be truthful, it was also the last thing she expected herself to do.

After hearing him explain, she felt the urge to kiss him. So she did. Maybe she got a little carried away, but it had been a long time since they had shared a kiss like that and she couldn't help but try and savor it.

She licked her lips, cleared her throat and sat back in the passenger seat. After she put on her seat belt like nothing had happened, she looked at him expectantly. "Are you just going to sit there all day? I thought we had plans for dinner."

"Ah, yeah...dinner." He was still rather spellbound by the kiss that she planted on him.


	19. Spindletop Restaurant

Marriage and Family

Chapter Nineteen

"Right this way please." The waiter told Martin and Sam before leading them to their table.

Sam looked around at the restaurant Martin had chosen and smiled. He had brought her to the Spindletop, Houston's revolving rooftop restaurant. They had been here a few times before, usually on their anniversary, but they hadn't been here for many years.

She couldn't help but remember the first time they came here. It was their anniversary, but it was also the day that she told him about being pregnant with Rachel.

_They were finished with their meal and Martin had decided to give her the anniversary present that he had picked out for her before they ordered dessert._

"_I hope you like this." He said as he presented her with a long, narrow box. _

_She smiled at the jewelry box, pausing for a moment before opening it. Inside was a gorgeous diamond pendent. It was a simple design, just the way she liked her jewelry. She didn't own many diamonds and the only ones she did own were ones that Martin had given to her—like her engagement ring and some earrings he had given her for Christmas. "Oh Martin, it's gorgeous. But you didn't have to…"_

"_I know, but I saw it and immediately thought of you." He interrupted, getting up from the table and moving over to her side so that he could put the necklace on her. "Here." He picked up the necklace and moved all of her hair off to the side. Then he placed a couple of light kisses on her neck before clasping the necklace together. _

"_How does it look?" She asked. _

_He went back over to his seat and stared at her. "Absolutely breathtaking…and the necklace looks good too." _

_She couldn't help but blush slightly at his words. "Well I guess now it's your turn for your present." She reached down and picked up the small gift bag she had brought with her. "I have to admit though, I didn't spend nearly as much on your gift as I'm sure you did for mine." _

"_That's ok." He assured her. "I'd be happy with just a tie." _

"_Damn!" She chuckled. "Maybe I should've gone with the tie." _

"_I'm sure whatever this is," he pointed to the bag, "I'll love it." _

"_Let's hope so." She grinned. _

_He opened up the bag and pulled out something wrapped in tissue paper. After removing the tissue paper wrapping he saw that it was a picture frame with three slots for pictures. There were already recent pictures of Claire and Sean in the first two slots but the last one was empty. _

"_I thought that this could go on your desk at work." Sam told him. "I thought it would be nice for you to have more pictures of your family around."_

"_It will be nice and it's definitely going to be put on my desk Monday morning." Martin nodded. "But what am I going to put in the third picture slot?" _

"_That's the thing." She explained. "You're going to have to wait about a few more months before you put another picture in there."_

_He was confused. "Why a few more months?" _

"_Because that's when our new son or daughter will be born." She grinned. _

"_Are you saying what I think you're saying?" He asked, almost afraid to hope that she was telling him that she was pregnant. _

"_Uh-huh." She nodded. "I went to the doctor yesterday and he confirmed it." _

"_This is great!" He smiled, moving over to her side of the table and kissing her. When he pulled away though, the smile had turned into a look of concern. "That is great, right?" _

_After Sean was born healthy they had agreed not to tempt fate and weren't going to try for more children. He understood because even though Sam had done well in therapy and wasn't nearly as anxious about being pregnant, she still wasn't fully comfortable with the idea. _

_She knew what he was thinking about and smiled to reassure him. "It is great."_

"_So you're happy about this too?" He asked hesitantly. _

"_I'm happy." She nodded, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I don't think I can find the words to explain how happy I am." _

_He kissed her one more time before returning to his own seat. "I guess we should have known that it wouldn't matter if we planned to have another child or not. All of our other children have been…surprises. Why should this one be any different?" _

"Sam?" Martin looked at her questioningly. She seemed to be deep in thought.

"Sorry." She apologized with a slight chuckle. "My mind decided to wander there for a moment."

"Did it go anywhere nice?" He asked.

"I was thinking about the time we came here on our anniversary and I told you about being pregnant with Rachel." Sam confessed.

"Ah yes." He grinned at the memory. "That was a good night."

"Yeah. It was." She agreed. "But it also reminded me that we only come here for special occasions. So what is the special occasion for tonight?"

"We're celebrating the fact that you are back home again." He explained.

"That's it?" She asked. "That's not really a special occasion."

"Maybe not to you." He countered. "But I missed you a lot and I thought that bringing you here would be a nice way to show you that, just like I thought that taking you to the movie earlier was a good idea."

"I still don't think that qualifies as a special occasion, but I do like coming here." She looked around before letting her eyes settle back on Martin. "It's nice. Thanks for bringing me here."

"You're welcome." He smiled.


	20. I'm Sorry

Marriage and Family

Chapter Twenty

Dinner went by without any arguments and it was quite enjoyable. They began laughing and joking around with each other again, just like they used to before everything started to turn bad.

After they were done with the dessert, Martin simply sat there, staring at Sam while she swirled her glass of wine around. He loved being able to look at her and realized that it had been a long time since he had taken the time to really drink in he beauty like this. But now that he had the opportunity, he wasn't going to pass it up.

"What?" She asked, looking over and seeing him staring at her with a goofy grin on his face.

"Nothing." He shook his head.

"You're staring." She informed him.

"It's because I can't help it." He explained. "You're even more beautiful than the day I met you."

"But that's been a long time." She blushed. "I've got wrinkles now and…"

"I don't see them." He interrupted. "All I see is the most beautiful woman in the world."

She smiled at him, unable to believe that he was flirting with her. That hadn't happened in a long time too.

"Would you like to dance?" He asked, holding out his hand to her.

She put her hand in his. "Yes I would."

"Great." He led her to the dance floor, wrapping his arms around her tightly and holding her close as they started to sway to the music.

"You know, I think I should apologize to you." Sam quietly told him as they danced.

"Why?" He didn't really think that there was any reason for her to apologize for anything.

"Well…" She cuddled up closer to him. "I've been rather suspicious of you since I got home. I haven't been very fair to you."

"I…"

"No, let me finish." She told him. "You're behavior has changed and I shouldn't have assumed that something bad made you change it. I probably shouldn't even care what changed it. I should probably just be happy with the change and let it go."

"It's been a long time since we've spent this much time together without finding something to fight about and it's nice. This whole day has been nice and I've had a lot of fun."

"I shouldn't have been suspicious of you and I'm sorry. If you say that simply missing me has triggered this sudden barrage of attention, then I'm going to believe you and let it drop."

Her apology made him feel extremely guilty about not telling her that he had been reading her journals. Here she was trusting him and he was keeping a secret from her. But could he really tell her though? Wouldn't she get really mad at him?

If she did, then all of the hard work that he had gone through to start rebuilding their relationship would go down the drain. It would be taking two steps back from the one step forward that they've taken.

But if he didn't tell her, would that be any better? He'd be keeping a secret from her, and secrets usually had a funny way of coming out at some point. As it was, there were already a few people that knew he had read the journals.

There were many ways that she could find out. They could slip up and accidentially mention it, he could accidentially reference something from them that she hadn't told him, or she could just figure it out on her own. She was smart.

If she found out from someone else, it might be worse than if he just went ahead and told her. Who knows, she might not be that mad after all—if he found the right way to tell her.

"Can you forgive me for being suspicious?" She asked him, looking up at him.

"There's nothing to forgive." He assured her, leaning in to kiss her nose.

"Well I'm glad that we have that settled." She smiled. "So I was thinking, can we make this a weekly thing?"

"Make what a weekly thing?" Martin asked.

"Dinner and dancing." She answered. "Can we do this more often?"

"Of course we can." He replied. "I think it would be a lot of fun to do this more often."

"Great." She smiled at him again before resting her head back down on his shoulder. Going to the movie and dinner today hadn't completely erased their problems. She knew that they would still have to talk about a lot of things and something told her that they would still have a few more fights.

But at this moment, she just wanted to forget that they were ever having problems and just enjoy his company. He seemed to have changed while she was with Claire. She had hoped that this time away from him would help him quit taking her for granted, and it looked like it had worked. Maybe those few months without him weren't unnecessary after all.

"You know, I'm sorry that I didn't call more often while I was gone." She told him. "I wanted to…I just didn't know what to say."

"I understand." He told her, rubbing small circles on her back. "Although I would have liked it a little more if we had been able to talk to each other. I felt like you were intentionally avoiding me."

"Truthfully I was." She admitted. "I didn't want to end up fighting with you again and I knew that would be very likely if we spoke."

"Well we're not fighting now." He pointed out.

"No we're not." She smiled, resting her head back on his shoulder and enjoying the moment.

"You want to skip dessert and head back home?" He asked after they had been dancing for quite a while.

"Why? You getting tired of dancing?" She asked.

"Not really." He explained. "I just thought that you might still be tired. You've been traveling for a long time and I wasn't sure if you were completely adjusted to being back or not."

"That's sweet of you." She kissed his cheek and then proceeded to yawn. "I guess I am still kind of tired. But I don't want this evening to end."

He smiled and then leaned in to place a soft kiss on her lips. "Don't worry. We'll have many more nights like this."

"I'm going to hold you to that." She grinned.

"I hope so." He grinned back.


End file.
